It's Good to be Ashley Carter

2012 is My Year

2012-01-05T15:28:00.000-08:00

No seriously, Tyler and I were crowned Mr. and Mrs. 2012 at a pageant/party/dance off New Year's Eve.

I could never top this post about it by our hostess so read all the details there (and then copy this party if your friends would go for such a thing). I will just entice you by telling you we had to come with prepared talents and ours was a choreographed Michael Jackson light-saber routine.

If you care to see a video of our number, click here. I'm pretty sure this thing is going viral soon. Just start at the one-minute mark because the first minute was an ill-conceived intro that Tyler thought would be awkwardly funny but was really just awkward.

Our number came in second to this:

I have high-brow friends.

But I must say I love having friends that I am comfortable enough with to change into my sweats an hour into the party. That allowed me to break out some killer moves later in the evening:

I have no shame. Here is the last shot of me and my girlfriends before my big win was announced--still friendly and hopeful!

And now I am like Mitt and my friends are like Newt--I have a big target on my back for 2013!

My friends, Me.

Actually, it's not a target--it's the emblem on the back of my pageant prize:

His and Hers 2012 Pageant Champion jackets.
They fit like gloves!

It's truly an honor to be Mrs. 2012. I will strive to live up to the title and not do anything unsavory that might strip me of my crown. Ain't no way those hussies are getting my jacket!

New Year-ish Thoughts

2012-01-03T16:06:00.000-08:00

I have been having an usually hard time leaving Christmas Vacation and returning back to Real Life. When this happens I cope by picking up fast food for lunch.

There are worse habits. Some of which I also engage in as coping mechanisms.

I've been trying to pick my Resolution for 2012--the one thing I want to get done. Last year I successfully got Charlie to the dentist, and even made a habit of brushing the boys' teeth every night. 2012 was supposed to be my year to get to the optometrist, but I want to put that off til 2013. Tyler is begging me to Feed the Kids Vegetables in 2012.

Sounds hard.

I am constantly frustrated right now by the mess. I purged a bunch of stuff after Christmas, and yet still the mess constantly flows. How do you do it? Do you make your bed before you leave for the day? Who has the time in the morning? Will that make my life better? When do you run/unload your dishwasher? I hate it when I don't have time to unload it in the morning and then I have dishes piling up til after lunch. I live this way folks. Help me. I am not hoping for miracles here. I just want to be presentable.

I'm not even talking about CLEANING, just PICKING UP.
Plus hasn't the Clorex Wipe replaced all cleaning tools?

I've been thinking about what makes me feel happy and what makes me feel crappy. Happy: exercising, getting enough sleep, being nice to my kids, studying my scriptures, spending time with Tyler, having food in the house, having enough time to take care of things at home while still getting out to do fun stuff several times a week. Crappy: Yelling at my kids, being tired, spending too much time on the internet, being surrounded by mess, etc. I'm not naturally a go-getter or a scheduled person but these lists make me realize if I don't actively put in effort to do the things that make me happy, by default I will do nothing and end up feeling crappy. So I need to do something about that. I need to mobilize! I don't have a plan or anything but I feel wise for just having thought about it.

Wise like a hooty bird!

Alright, that's what I got for now.

Twelve Pictures of Christmas (Plus a Few Bonus Ones Tucked in There)

2011-12-29T10:58:00.000-08:00

Here goes . . .

1. I did my hair and wore real clothes on Christmas Eve--a rare and notable event in my life right now.

2. We cooked and ate and cleaned and cooked and ate and cleaned (repeat repeat . . . . .)

3. Santa came!

4. Charlie delivered darling Christmas morning photos.

5. Max went shirtless and delivered his usual.

6. Santa brought Charlie and Max light-sabers.
And one for Tyler too . . .

. . . which Bennett quickly usurped.

7. The kids were so excited to give Tyler presents.

8. Tyler was so excited to give the kids presents.

9. I was so excited to give Tyler these goblets (just like the ones his family has always used for holidays--see above photo of the family dinner). Tyler has always loved them and I found a set on ebay.

10. We went to church, after which I moved into my sweats and stayed in them for 36 hours straight. I'm in them again now.

11. The boys got a ladder and some clues that eventually led them outside . . .

to this!

12. We went back to Hollister Christmas evening and stayed overnight for more family, food, and presents.

The boxing gloves were one thing, but when Tyler and his twin-ish brother Ian started having a competition to see who could handle the worst shocks from a dog-training collar, we knew Christmas was over. (They tied.)

Max's Christmas Party

2011-12-22T14:06:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this is true or not but I often worry that Max doesn't get enough of my attention.

He's a very easy going boy and he's sandwiched between two squeaky wheels who get a lot of grease:

So I decided to host a little Christmas party for some of Max's friends. Max jumped on the idea that this was HIS party and requested a pinata. (He also requested that Charlie not be invited to the party.) Of course Max remembered the painstaking effort I put into Charlie's penguin:

Work of ART!

I had sworn off pinatas after that bird but caved at Max's request. I decided to do a quick and dirty job: use big fat strips of newspaper and dry it in the oven in between layers. My crap job backfired when I popped the balloon and the whole thing started to crack and collapse. Tyler helped me reinflate it with mouth to mouth and we taped it back together.

It turned out fine, though it was a Christmas miracle that it survived more than one blow!

Senor Frosty.

The party kids played little games and ate little treats and made teeny tiny gingerbread houses.

I bought this fake snow powder and it was pretty fun:And we got a letter from the elves giving us clues to find these cute little snowglobes:

My mom put me onto these. They are from Kohls and they change colors and they are so cute--the perfect size for little hands.

We were done with the festivities in 90 minutes and the moms got to hang out for a bit while the kids watched The Grinch. I can't usually say this when I host things, but I thorougly enjoyed everything about this party. Even the clean-up wasn't bad, though I did find this sad scene outside:

The sun was hot that day . . . .

Warner Genes--a Post for the Grandparents

2011-12-21T17:07:00.000-08:00

My dad has an annual tradition of serenading the family with a terrible version of Oh Holy Night on Christmas Eve. Max has the Warner name, the Warner look, and apparently the Warner singing voice. He also has Tyler's confidence. His preschool teacher told me she put him front and center in their Christmas program because he always sung so loud and proud.

See the video here.

Gingerbread Party

2011-12-20T23:41:00.001-08:00

Every December we host a gingerbread house-making party for Tyler's family. We all cram in my kitchen--here's the group!

We've been doing it for several years now and I've learned a few things along the way. I bought the kids' houses this year (Bed Bath and Beyond has the best mini-houses) and I hot-glued them together. That's the way to go, folks.

Charlie told me decorating gingerbread houses is his favorite thing to do.

I'm actually surprised that people keep coming back. Tyler and I could not be ruder hosts. We get completely absorbed in our own house and don't entertain or offer food or even pay attention to anyone. Usually we each have to do our own house because we both like to have full creative control. This was the first year we successfully shared a house. There was some bickering and a few hard feelings at first but our union eventually produced this:

My nieces voted and we won first place! We displayed our houses and then this happened:

Sorry, Charlie!

Tyler's Birthday

2011-12-20T23:13:00.000-08:00

Tyler's birthday is in December. It happens every year.

My cake.

Too bad he didn't marry his sister or maybe that cake would have looked more like this:

Tyler's sister's cake (for our nephew).

Charlie loves making treasure hunts these days. He hid Tyler's presents and designed a map for Tyler to find them.

I took Tyler on a rockin' date. We went indoor go-karting. It's in a huge warehouse type place--here's part of the track:

Here's the birthday boy!

He's 36 you know.

Here I am pre-race--I was a little terrified.

But once I figured out those things can't flip over I let loose. I was spinning out, hitting people, and hitting the barriers so hard they moved. You know, like how I normally drive. Have you go-karted?

The Entertainment

2011-12-20T23:04:00.000-08:00

Tyler was part of the entertainment at our church Christmas party.

He dazzled the crowd with a jazzy rendition of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree."

It was rousing.

He didn't practice, but he held nothing back. Go hard or go home.

Train Wreck

2011-12-20T22:54:00.000-08:00

Shortly after we got our Christmas tree up, the elves left a package on our doorstep.

It was very exciting!

A house full of little boys needs a Christmas tree train.

Or so I thought before I realized how much real estate it would take up in my family room.

It also derails if you breath on it wrong. I think the elves went a little cheap. Now I store the passenger cars up high and only let them turn on the engine during special occasions. Ho ho ho.

My Gingerbread Boy

2011-12-20T22:12:00.000-08:00

I think 16-months-old is some sort of adolescence between being a baby and being a little boy. It's a tough age. A busy, busy age. He has his fingers in a lot of things. Literally.

I'm a Good Person

2011-11-30T21:06:00.000-08:00

I have several posts I want to do but there is one thorn in my side that keeps busting my groove: SEMINARY. I have such a love-hate relationship with it. I love spending time with the kids. They are so good and kind and fun. I love how much I learn. I love finding things and people in the Old Testament that resonate with me here and now. I feel like I'm back in school learning things and that's fun.

Ten Commandments.
I have my class color all the time.

But I hate getting up at 5:00 am every weekday. I'm so tired I have to sit on a chair to do my make-up. Too weary to stand! Monday I woke up ten minutes after seminary was supposed to start. I had known that would happen eventually (I'm an over-sleeper) so I had warned my students: "There will be one day when you get here and I won't be here." I saw the clock, threw on some clothes and mascara, didn't brush my teeth, and made it to the church twenty minutes late. No biggie. I think the students enjoyed it.

Playdough Tabernacles
One of my better days.

I hate feeling like I have no time on weeknights for things like blogging or tv or projects or outings. I only have time for picking up the house and preparing my next day's lesson and trying to go to bed. I am well aware that blogging and tv and projects should fall below scripture study in my priority list, but still. Sometimes I just want to sit down and work on my Christmas card for an hour on a Wednesday. Sue me.

Genius idea: Bringing in guest teachers.
I aim for two guests per month.

So that's how I feel about seminary. I'm happy to do it--I truly am--but I'd be lying if I said it was painless. The good news is we WISELY decided to give the students an extra week off in December for their finals, so I only have one more week and then I get to have three weeks off. I plan to stay up late and watch tv and format my Christmas card and BLOG A TON about my big fat life. But first, seven more days of seminary . . . . see ya on the flip side!

My Big Fat 32nd Birthday

2011-11-13T19:34:00.001-08:00

I sprung from my mother's womb 32 years ago Monday. Shout it from the rooftops.

I requested my cake a day early because it was a long Sunday afternoon and I couldn't stop thinking about my cake.

My actual birthday was a pretty normal day. I taught seminary, did a fun class at the gym, did my marathon of multiple preschool drop-offs/pick-ups, had a playdate at a park with one of Charlie's preschool friends, and then went to dinner with the kids at CPK.

I love their tortilla soup!

The best part of the day was hearing from friends and getting fun little gifts and treats. I bought myself a ton of stuff online. Ten items have come and only one sweater fits (and it's from the tall girl store). That's the story of my life and I refuse to buy more ill-fitting clothes so the rest are going back. Tyler got me some antique windows off of Craigslist:

Terrible lighting but you get the idea.

We have had a big bare wall above our couch for two years and I am so happy to finally have something there. Tyler's real gift to me was spending hours this weekend refinishing and hanging these:

We got to watch Jane Eyre on Friday night which has nothing to do with my birthday but we hardly ever get to watch dvds anymore so it was nice.

I really liked that movie and I recommend it.

Last night was my real birthday celebration, though by this point the birthday part had worn off and it was just a date. We went to our favorite date restaurant Tomatina. All I care about in life right now is coziness and Tomatina out-cozies all other restaurants. Here is Tyler in our booth right in front of the roaring brick oven.

And here I am with my bruschetta and the hack job I got on my bangs this week:

I used a Groupon for a haircut.

Then we saw Moneyball. Brad was fantastic, as usual.

And now the last credit has rolled, the cake is gone, the confetti swept away . . . .

Display-Off Part Three: Bountiful Harvest

2011-11-09T14:12:00.001-08:00

No offense but I am growing weary of the display-off.

Hooty nestled in my display.

But with The Mostess and I tied at one win each, I had to soldier on and produce a mind-blowing Bountiful Harvest display.

Who decorates like this for Thanksgiving? It's ridiculous!

You MAY recognize some of the raw elements--the composition however is new and glorious to behold.

I worked hard at creating levels and flow. That corn is local--as in from the cornfield across the street from my house!

Don't worry, I paid for it--both with cash and the crazy rash I got hauling that stuff out of my car.

Okay here's The Mostess's display:

Ha ha, not really!

The Mostess has a three-part display. Part one:

Mostess Part One.

Not bad, not bad. Before I show you part two, you must know that the Mostess came over with a birthday present for me (birthday post to come!) and chatted me up. I got swept up in the moment and, due to the gifting, felt obligated to offer her my leftover corn stalks! They show up here in her Part Two:

Mostess Part Two-with my corn!

Let's not forget the Hooty Bird I gave her last month. I'm an idiot! He shows up (in disguise) in Part Three:

Mostess Part Three.

Her display is definitely bountiful. I'll give her that. A bit sprawling perhaps. You'll notice a cornucopia in her Part Three. I decided cornucopias are played and went with a whimsical pumpkin turkey instead:

I think it was a good move.

The Mostess does not trust the voice of the people to crown the Display-Off winner. So we have a panel of five judges who are going to cast the final votes. Still, I'd love to hear what you think! Who out-displayed the other? Let's put this thing to rest once and for all!

Pre-Thanksgiving Post

2011-11-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

That title was a trick to lure you into this post. I have this thing where, when there is going to be a big event like Halloween, I like to try to blog about it before it happens, while it's still fresh and people still care. Hence, the costume sneak peak last week. Brooke mocks me for this, but I tell you, it's a good principle.

This post violates that principle. Halloween is a distant memory and no one wants to see anyone else's kids in a pumpkin patch anymore. Here are my kids in a pumpkin patch:

Bob's Pumpkin Patch in Half Moon Bay.

The scenery is pretty and the pumpkins are cheap.

Tyler's sisters Ashley and Amy.

Our haul in the back of Goldfinger.
Most of these were my mother-in-law's!

We also had to hit the ghetto neighborhood pumpkin patch because they put this ginormous bouncy tiger at the corner of a main intersection.

Charlie, age 5.

My kids saw it every day and begged to go. I finally caved and paid $26 for an hour of bouncing.

Max, 3-and-a-half.

A lady offered to take this picture of me and Bennett and I love it because it captures my every-day-running-around-with-the-kids-life/messy ponytail:

Bennett, 14 months.

In between the pumpkin patches and Halloween night we had six Halloween parties. Five were dress-up. I took on a second job as Czar of Costume Parts. The kids wanted to be superheroes again this year so we recycled last year's costumes. I cut a few inches off the arms and legs of Max's old superman costume (to Tyler's initial horror) and it was perfect for Bennett:

Here's all of us!

Now to go love me some November!

Halloween Sneak Peak

2011-10-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Has your Halloween craziness begun yet? Our first party was tonight. At the Mostess's, who you are all familiar with by now. Enough of her already! But the girl hosts a great party. Tonight the theme was Heroes and Villains, and when you have a hand-sewn Flash unitard in your Halloween box, you don't not wear it to a Heroes party.

I made him wear the shorts this year.
He hemmed them up about 10 inches.

And so it was that I needed a Wonder Woman costume.

Or perhaps a modified Wonder Woman costume.

Tyler was too busy to sew this year, so I hobbled this thing together with hot glue and stitch witchery (that magical non-sew iron together stuff). I never owned a hot glue gun before now and I don't know how I got by without it. I want to hot glue everything. The gold stuff on my costume is wrapping paper from Michael's. Tyler made the symbol on my chest with gold wrapping paper taped on black construction paper taped on my tank top. It was quality work. (Hi Tyler Kearl!).

C. Jane once called October a high-maintenance month and I think about that all the time. Between Charlie's party last week, the spooktacular, and costume finagling, I'm ready for a break from all things craftastic. But first we get to have another nine days or so of Halloween partying. Ohhhh yeaaaaaaah.

Concession Speech

2011-10-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

My friends, we have come to the end of a long journey. It is with much admiration and bitter jealousy that I declare THE MOSTESS aka Kaari the winner of the Spooktacular Spectacular! Take your badge!

It began as a neck and neck race between The Mostess and Chelsea. Then the Mostess took off like a thoroughbred. When I raised an eyebrow (by text), she responded, "I have a lifesize mummy! I don't need to cheat!" Which is true.

The Mostess's display had, in Tyler's words, an incredible level of spook per square foot. I can only hit the highlights:

THE GOOD:

Skeleton in cage on crate.

Spooky AND cute! Love it!

The lifesize, hand-made (ridiculous!) mummy illuminated by lanterns.

Does it get anymore spooktacular? It's like Disneyland. I don't want to know how much time she spent, or how much that bolt of cheesecloth cost, or how she will store this bad boy. But the voting masses were impressed so he's worth it.

THE BAD:

Her "trio of goulish friends."

Kaari, while I appreciate your ambition and scale, I don't care for these. Maybe if you rolled the bat in glitter. . . .

THE UGLY:

Please get rid of this thing.
Local girls, lets plan an intervention.

Finally, The Mostess's PDR:

Hooty Bird in witch's hat!

A generous and beautiful soul gave this bird to The Mostess after her crushing defeat in the Display Off Part 1. Oh the irony that this darling owl is now the sole reason It Was a Graveyard Smash pulled ahead of Batty for Candy by about 75 votes.

A hearty congrats to all the entrants. Chelsea's Something Wicked came THIS close to taking this whole thing. Tyler and Lenessa tried to save face by bowing out of the competition in the 11th hour, offering all of their (non-existant?) votes to Kaari. ("You can't fire me because I QUIT!")

Lenessa's door.
I'm doing this next year.

Turns out Kaari didn't need extra votes. When I threatened to campaign for some last minute votes, The Mostess told me I'm a Nadar and I needed to stay out of the way. I reminded her that as the clear winner of Welcome Fall, I am a has been, not a never was. She and I will battle it out for the ultimate title in the Display Off Part 3: Bountiful Harvest. The Mostess says she's building a lifesize Mayflower and flooding her yard so it floats. I've told her to go for it, as long as she includes all her adorable scarecrows!

Congrats Mostess!
I can't feel bad losing to The Ghostess!

Charlie's Penguin Party

2011-10-18T23:08:00.000-07:00

Spooktacular Update: Get your final votes in! The voting will end tomorrow night (Wednesday). Be sure to check out Molly's last minute entry here. It's pretty fantastic. Remember, it's not too late to vote for your favorite Batty for Candy display!

In other news, this is Penguin-y:

Photo by Charlie.

He is Charlie's beloved stuffed penguin, and this relationship has led to a love of all things Penguin at our house.

Hence, Charlie requested a Penguin party for his fifth birthday. I decided I could work with that. Oh yes, I could work with that:

Greg was right--I should have incorporated him into my display!

This was Charlie's year for a smallish, at home party. While these parties always cost as much as big at-a-place parties and demand more work, I think the prep is fun. On an every-other-year-basis. Charlie helped me come up with games and made his own decorations:

I made these cute penguin balloons, but the balloons were from Safeway and they crapped out on me before the party even began.

Luckily penguin colors matched my display.

Here's our igloo:

Igloos have nothing to do with penguins.

Charlie was adamant that we play a game where little penguins are frozen in ice and have to be rescued. I was wary but went with it. It was the highlight of the party.

Note: I usually don't post pictures of other people's kids--let me know if you don't want your kid's picture in this post!

Then they built sugar cube igloos for those penguins:

We played some games like waddling with a penguin egg:

And after all of that there was still an hour left. So in desperation I read a penguin book.

It was a raging party.

The cake was one of my finest--not to be confused with my worst. Costco made it but I decorated it.

Tyler's contribution was the meticulously crafted igloo for the cake. He even carved individual sugar cubes.

The man loves this sort of project.

I have to say I don't love Costco's white frosting. I sacrificed taste for cake appearance. A bonehead move indeed.

Charlie thought it was the bomb though. And that guy can melt my arctic heart on even the frostiest of days.

Display-Off Part Two: Spooktacular Spectacular!

2011-10-17T00:00:00.001-07:00

Time to unveil Spooktacular Spectacular displays! I know there are at least five of us in the competition, including Tyler, so it's gonna be tough. My friend Laura asked what the prize was. I told her that if out-displaying everyone else isn't prize enough for her nothing would be. But our friend Lu (who has always been the gracious one) stepped up and made this button, which will be awarded to blog of the winning entrant:

I was so excited to convert my Welcome Fall display into a Spooktacular display. I started unloading my Halloween bins and kept finding stuff that would be GREAT in a display: A big spider! Driftwood skeletons! A Halloween picture frame! As the pile of Halloween shiz grew around me I realized the key to a great Spooktacular display is (of course) a great piece de resistance. But also the key to a great Spooktacular display is RESTRAINT. And flowing from restraint is the key to a great Spooktacular display: A THEME. So my friends and competitors, I give you

BATTY FOR CANDY!

Yes, I know it looks somewhat similar to Welcome Fall. I believe I get points for re-purposing. Plus, my owl/PDR is a vote-getter and I am too smart to not use him again. (If you feel this is too much of a repeat, you are not going to like next month's Bountiful Harvest.)

Here's a closer look:

I've had all that candy besides the sixlets for years. It's old and used for decoration but that doesn't stop people from eating it. I was pretty stoked to find the orange and black Sixlets at Target. They are so cute I can't decide whether to pass them out for Halloween or save them as decor.

Maybe that's a decision I won't have to make.

In an ironic twist of fate, that glittery black pumpkin was a gift from The Mostess last year. How she regrets that now!

I had to spring for a new doormat:

And I wanted a black wreath so I went against my instincts and doctored up this one--spray painted it and stuck in the feathers and whatnot.

It's okay--not a PDR or anything.

Hanging these bats was the tricky part.

I strung them on fishing line but needed to find a way to attach it to the wall. I couldn't get a nail into the stucco and duct tape wouldn't hold. Finally I used hot glue and it held! There are advantages to being a renter!

So there you have it. I won't lie, it's pretty dang cute. But is it cute enough to beat the Mostess? I'll add her pics when she gets 'em posted. Or maybe she's seen my display and decided to forfeit! UPDATE: Just click on the link for Kaari below--her display is way too expansive for me to cover it here!

Okay, let's see what you've got! Enter your display below. Please enter the link that goes directly to your Spooktacular post. I can't wait to check them all out! Feel free to discuss and weigh in on who should get the illustrious Spooktacular button! Vote by saying whose display you like best in the comments!

Thinking of Grandma

2011-10-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today would have been my Grandma Warner's 91st birthday.

With Charlie in 2006.

She passed away in May and I have been wanting to write some thoughts I've had. I wrote a "Memories of Grandma" talk for her funeral, so I won't repeat all those here.

My other grandma, my mom's mom, died before I was born. (I can't wait to one day meet the woman who raised Linda Warner!) So I grew up as the granddaughter of these three characters:

Grandpa Poole, Grandma Warner, Grandpa Warner

They were a constant presence in my life--my friends all know them from many a Sunday dinner or ballet recital. They were so present I often took them for granted; they seemed like part of the backdrop as I starred in my life. But in their constancy was a steadiness and a goodness that influenced me more than those humble people would ever guess.

This is how I'll always think of Grandpa and Grandma.
They were married 69 years and died 6 weeks apart.

I never would have guessed that Grandma would outlive my grandpas. She had a myriad of serious health problems and really struggled for the last decade of her life. There were many times when she was on her deathbed and I'd fly out to say goodbye--only to have her rise from the ashes like a Pheonix. She was so ready and willing to end her suffering in this life--Grandma had as sure a testimony of Heaven and eternal families and Jesus Christ as anyone I've ever known. She didn't fear death at all. She had no reason to.

Grandma's kids.
My dad, at 6'4, is the shortest son.

In spite of being in a lot of pain, Grandma never complained. She only wanted to hear about you. Every time I'm sick at all, all I want to do is moan and groan. I always think about Grandma during those times and I admire her even more.

The granddaughters. (Sorry Brooke.)

I was close to Grandma. She was as savvy as they come and always made me feel like a million bucks. She always wanted to know everything about my life--especially when I was dating. She was so eager for me to find a wonderful guy to marry, and then when I married Tyler and moved away, she was so eager for me to move back to Utah. She always made me feel guilty about that.

My three grandparents all died within fifteen months of each other. They dropped like flies. I was very lucky to have them for 30 years. They were all in their 90's, so I was relatively prepared for them to pass on. I thought, "No one can keep grandparents forever, I'm just so blessed to have had such wonderful ones. I love them dearly, but I can let them go."

My grandpa's burials were so cold and snowy.
Grandma got the most beautiful spring day.
It was perfect for her.

So it has surprised me how much I've missed Grandma these past six months. I miss her when I think "I should call Grandma." I miss her when I go to Utah and don't go visit like I did every single time. I missed her on my anniversary when I thought about my wedding day and how determined Grandma was to be in the temple with me even though it was so hard for her to get out. And I miss her today.

Grandma planned her own funeral and wanted this cute little 97-year-old man to do a musical number on the marimba. We were all nervous but it was AWESOME.

My grandma was solid. She knew what she believed and she lived it. I am a better person because of her and my grandpas. They left me a rich heritage that I hold dear. I have a lot to live up to.

Stuff In My Life These Days

2011-10-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

Spooktacular News: Some have asked if they can enter interior decor into the Spooktacular. The short answer is no. But if you are posting about your outdoor display, by all means show your indoor stuff too--we want to see it!

Someone's cute display.

Also, my friend Lu is making a blog button for the winner of the Spooktacular. Badge of honor! So get crackin--you only have one week.

The prevailing theme in my life right now is tiredness. No one wants to hear about that. But please know that I am very, very tired.

I am playing McDonald's Monopoly game and I love it.

I always get a large fry because it has four pieces. I keep my game board in my purse. But if I get Marvin Gardens one more time I'll eat my hat.

I keep skipping the gym these days because the morning/preschool hours when I just have Bennett are too thrilling. I want to LIVE DANG IT! That means I run errands with only Bennett rather than go to the gym. Hawaii is over and we are moving into the holidays so it seems like a good time to raise the white flag. Also I am lazy. But like MacArthur, I shall return. Hopefully soon.

I have had a cold forever. Last week was the annual Week Where I Lose My Voice. Charlie manned the phones and I showed movies in seminary.

This is SO good!!!

Seminary rolls on.

I peaked in life Friday night when I finished making this:

It's a penguin pinata for Charlie's birthday party. I couldn't find one in the stores and they were too expensive on etsy. (I copied this one from Etsy--can't take credit for the idea.) Some friends of mine have made pinatas and raved about how easy they were. They didn't mention that they take days and days of layering and waiting for paper mache to dry. But I am pretty sure I will never do anything better in my life than this pinata. I accidentally gave him chicken feet instead of flippers but he'll be smashed to bits soon so I'm not changing anything.

I signed up to get diapers from Amazon Mom and now I get free two day shipping on everything I buy from Amazon. I know this is old news to a lot of you but it has bettered my life. I buy as much as I can on Amazon now and I love how fast it shows up! I have no patience for regular shipping anymore. It's going to rock during the holidays! Sign up!

Bennett (14 months) is the cutest little guy ever right now.

He just walks around pointing and talking gibberish. Unfortunately he also loves to splash in the toilets and unload garbage cans. This is a very typical sight:

One of my favorite errands is taking Charlie and Max to Expert Hair Do for their haircuts. I love seeing those two little guys in the swivel chairs:

They are such good little buddies and good little boys right now. They entertain each other and ask us each night if they can "talk quiet" in their beds.

Their friendship helps me out so much. Almost makes me wish I was 7 months pregnant so Bennett would have a buddy too.

You are Invited! Hoo Me? Yes, You.

2011-10-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Getting my mileage out of this guy.
Don't think you won't be seeing him again.

Hoo . . . Hoo: YOU. After an outpouring of requests (four) to join in the Display-Off, The Mostess and I cordially invite you to join us for this special event.

What: The Display-Off Part 2:

SPOOKTACULAR SPECTACULAR!

When: Displays will be posted on October 17th.

How: If I can figure out how to do it, I'll use Mr. Linky so you can post pictures of your display on your blog, then link them up with my post on the 17th. (If you want to do it but don't have a blog, you can email me pictures.) Then everyone can check out the displays and weigh in in the comments. I recommend a thick skin and a piece de resistance.

Why: Because everyone's always complaining that blogging is a big competition, so lets give the people what they want. But most importantly, to out-cute or out-spook The Mostess. I happen to know she has plans to handcraft her own PDR and it's gonna be lifesize. Use this info to spur yourself on to Display Greatness.

RSVP: In the comments. Or just show up for the party.

Display-Off Part One: Welcome Fall

2011-09-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

You know how some people turn everything into a competition? Well that's my friend The Mostess. Back in the summer I told her I was going to get some old weathered crates to put on my porch this fall. Before I could even log into ebay, she had gone to the time and trouble of making her own faux-aged crates:

The Mostess's crates.

And if that wasn't bad enough, she then bragged about it and challenged me to a display-off. Which brings us to now. We have had our "Welcome Fall" displays up for awhile, and it's high time we post them before October hits and we need to morph them into round two of the Competition: Spooktacular Spectacular. (The Display-Off will culminate in November with "Bountiful Harvest," at which point we will start talking Christmas.)

I give you my version of "Welcome Fall":

Here is the view as you approach the door:

As a renter, I can't take credit for the raw elements--the door, the light, etc.--but I think my display shines through. Here is a closer view of those ebay crates:

When I bought that owl, my piece de resistance, I texted a picture of him to The Mostess. She demanded to know where I got him. I lied and said I made him. She saw right through that, but still cursed (over text) and declared that she, too, needed a piece de resistance. I am afraid someone will steal such a fine owl so I have to bring him in at night. He's a high maintenance piece, but he's worth it.

My other pieces de resistance are my three fellas. Fall is their season.

Okay, here is my competition. Here is the first view you see:

The Mostess's display.

She actually has a two part display--here's a close-up of the first part:

And the second part that you see as you face the door:

I admit, I was a little disappointed to see how cute her display is. She's no hack. Although I don't see a piece de resistance in there . . . . As for judging--the Mostess did not trust you, reader of this blog, to render a fair vote as to the better display. So we are submitting the photos to an "objective friend" of the Mostess's who supposedly has great style. But still feel free to praise us (I mean our displays!) in the comments! Do you like our displays? Have you welcomed fall? Can you believe I made that owl?

It's Lonely at the Top

2011-09-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

Tyler just won first place in Golfland's Tournament of Champions. Again!

He's on the right.

He won $1250.00! He's placed in the top four and won at least a couple hundred bucks four of the past five years. He skipped one year to attend a niece's baptism--to the delight of the other competitors.

2007.

I took the boys over this morning to watch Tyler play the last three holes. Everyone knew he was going to win. After the last hole, each of the players in Tyler's group came over to shake his hand. I thought that was hilarious.

The guy in this picture was in Tyler's group. He has been playing at Golfland since 1962. He got third place today, and he got to shake Tyler's hand--while secretly wishing Tyler will get hit by a bus before next year.

It's a bit embarrassing that Tyler always wins, especially since the owners of the place are good friends of ours. But we've come to count on the cash as part of his annual income. It's not so much that we're happy he won; it's more that we'd be ticked if he didn't. It's just par for the course, as they say.

Trouble in Paradise: A Rant

2011-09-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

Tyler and I planned to fly home on the red-eye Friday night. We kept congratulating ourselves on how smart we were for giving ourselves the weekend to recover at home. Friday night we returned our rental car and got to the airport only to learn that our flight was canceled due to a mechanical problem. Delta called us to deliver the news while we were in line--thanks Delta! The airport in Kauai is tiny and Delta was completely understaffed for the chaos that ensued.

We got on our phones immediately to rebook our flights, but still had to wait in line for hours to get our hotel vouchers. The ticket agent was stressed, irritated, and determined to be unhelpful. We were about to get tough with her when the guy next to us started ranting and raving at his ticket agent.

He sounded like a complete blowhard and it was so unattractive that I--for once in my life--maintained my composure, took my voucher for the Courtyard Marriott, and went gently into the good night. Delta shuttled us to the hotel and by the time we got there it was 11 pm--four hours after we had originally gotten to the airport.

At this point we only wanted to be home with our kids, we didn't have a car, and we were stuck at a Courtyard Marriott that was not within walking distance to anything. Delta gave us $6.00 meal vouchers that could only be used at the hotel, but the vouchers weren't enough to actually pay for any real food there. We felt like prisoners. The hotel was fine and had a pool but it was the last place we wanted to be.

My own personal Vietnam.

Our re-scheduled flight was at 8:45 pm the next night. We had to check out at noon, and the Courtyard doesn't have any place for you to shower if you want to hang around at the pool for the afternoon. That wasn't really an option anyway because Delta sent one shuttle--a bus actually--to take us all back to to the airport at 1:30.

The party bus.

So Delta's plan was for us to hang at the airport from 1:30 til 8:45--still clinging to our dinner vouchers which were only good at the Courtyard Marriott, mind you. At this point Tyler and I were given a gift from God. A plane had just landed (semi-rare at that airport) so the shuttle for the Marriott resort (where we had stayed for most of our trip) came by to pick people up. We got on, delighted to get back to our old stomping grounds--much nicer than the Courtyard and within walking distance of fish tacos and hula pie.

Another gift from God was that I still had one of my pool cards for the resort. So we got towels and pool wristbands and made the best of it.

Kind of like a homecoming.
Name that movie!

There is something in that water that makes couples ride each other. I snapped this pic and noticed it shows three separate couples canoodling through the water:

That guy in the middles has a girl on his front.

I begged Tyler to let me ride his back through the water but he refused. Adamantly.

Anyway, we eventually got home, and it was all worth it because Delta apologized by giving us generous vouchers. NOT! If you volunteer to get bumped, you get $400 on Delta. But if they can't get their plane to fly and they inconvenience you (and your babysitters) against your will, you get a whopping 5000 skymiles. (A roundtrip flight from California to Utah costs a minimum of 25,000 skymiles). I called to ask for compensation and eventually got a $100 travel voucher, which I still find inadequate. I only got that after I moved past being nice and channeled the blowhard.

I don't like being that guy, but being nice got me 5000 skymiles and a dinner voucher that was impossible to use.

P.S. I'm emailing this post to Delta. I will update if they do anything to show they care about customer service. Sorry for the rant. SORRY FOR THE RANT!!!!!

More Kauai

2011-09-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

Our typical day in Kauai:

6:30 am: Wake up. (Love the 3-hour time difference!) Eat Kashi GoLean Crunch in our room.

Morning: We go on a hike, or Tyler golfs while I sleep/go to the pool.

Napoli Coast hike along the Kalalua trail.

Makai course at Princeville.
I road along that day and ate snacks and read:

Lunch: Fish tacos, preferably at Kalapaki Joe's.

Afternoon: Hit a beach or two for snorkling and boogie boarding.

Lawai Beach.

Brennecke's.

Evening: Get cleaned up and go out to dinner. Our favorite place was Brick Oven Pizza.

Late night: Hit Dukes for tiki-torch ambiance and hula pie.

REPEAT FOR ONE GLORIOUS WEEK!

A few bests and worsts . . . .

Best beach: Hideaway Beach in Princeville.

You have to hike down to it--that's how they keep it hidden away!

Best hike: Sleeping Giant.

Best touristy adventure: ATV-ing at Kipu Ranch.

Worst Mustache: My dirt 'stache after ATV-ing.

Best place to wash off a dirt 'stache: Marriott Beach Club pool.

Best timeshare presentation: Marriott Beach Club--we were out in 90 minutes exactly!

Best tankini: Mine, because everyone else wears bikinis, no matter their age or body type.

Best book: Tina Fey's Bossypants.

Tyler reading Bossypants.

Best kid to come home to: Bennett.

Worst car rental: Dodge Charger.Worst tan: Mine. I started out tan-ish from my spray tan, then got whiter (in a Michael Jackson skin disease-fashion) as the trip wore on. I huddled in any shade I could find!

Worst thing of all: Dealing with our canceled flight.

That story will be my third and final Kauai post. Out!

Kauai Sneak Peak

2011-09-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

Tyler and I got home from Kauai this morning. We took the red-eye and then I had to take two more flights to get Bennett from my mom's in Salt Lake. The trip was fantastic (minus a canceled flight fiasco) and I'll give you the details later, but wanted to post a few favorite pics tonight.

I love this picture because Tyler HATES this sort of thing, but I made him do it and he agreed it turned out cute. NOTE: He's dying that I posted this. What's there to be ashamed of!?!

View from atop the Sleeping Giant mountain.

View from my seat at dinner.

This pic represents all our self-portraits and is more true to the trip than any of our posed shots.

I love the winkey thing going on in my eye here. If I was CJane I'd make this my header. The swimsuit shot is for my self-declared-non-pervert friend Hayley!

This guy kept showing up on our trip--first on our flight, then at our hotel, then at two different restaurants. I was so excited every time I saw him. I really wanted him to be on our flight home but no dice. He's probably still in paradise, devouring a piece of hula pie as we speak.

I know you're thirsty for more but I've gotta go plan tomorrow's seminary lesson. Vacation's over!

Giveaway Winners!

2011-09-09T10:06:00.001-07:00

I used random.org to pick the winners of the Lemon Poppy cookbooks. Without further ado . . .

GRAND PRIZE (winner of three books):

Alyson

who said:

I LOVE cookbooks...especially those from which I find more than one or two "keeper" recipes. Looks like these might just fit the bill! Pick me!!!

FIRST RUNNER UP (winner of two books):

Lanea Sampson
who said:

I was a Swiss days Sat. and I think they were selling these cookbooks. I couldn't tell for sure because there were so many women crowding around to buy them!! (And, yes Lanea, Ali was selling her books at Swiss Days!)

SECOND RUNNER UP (winner of one book):

Brian and Courtni

who said:

i am always looking for new things to make...thanks for the intro to these books!

Thanks to all who entered and to Ali for her great books. If you didn't win, be good to yourself and buy your own here! Winners, please email me your addresses at ashleywcarter@hotmail.com. Thanks!

Doublewide

2011-09-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

I got a new bookcase in my bedroom and I am better person because of it. Behold:

For the last seven years, Tyler and I haven't had a bookcase, nor did we realize we needed one. It might not surprise you that I had rigged up a ghetto fabulous solution--I was using the removable shelves (NOT a real shelving unit!) from our entertainment unit as bookshelves. I have no before pic, but here they are now, shamefully hidden in my closet, holding jeans:

This picture will go down in history as the moment I realized I need to toss those black heels. I'm hard on shoes.

The old me had way too many books piled on those fake shelves. Also tons of paper and photos and documents and kid's artwork--it was an eyesore!

Then one day it dawned on us to get a bookcase. We found a set of two on craigslist--the doublewide pictured above and a singlewide Tyler has yet to paint. I loathe painting furniture, but luckily Tyler prefers painting to watching my sloppy work. If I want a picture hung or a bookcase stained, I just have to pretend like I'm about to do it, which terrifies him into action.

The doublewide is a workhorse--it's a bedroom piece and it's more about function than form, but it's a million times cuter than what we had going. I have been giddy about having a place for things--a basket to drop photos, a drawer for each kid's art, etc.--it's glorious. I imagine there are people out there who lead an organized life on a daily basis. I can't abide that sort of life now, but I have a doublewide bookcase and that's not nothing.

Recipe Book Giveaway!

2011-09-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

I went to high school with a cute girl named Ali Cannon--now Ali Eisenach.

(All pictures borrowed from lemonpoppycake.com)

Unlike me she won elections in high school and was our senior class president. Poor girl had to plan our ten-year reunion. But I digress!

Ali makes the world's cutest cookbooks.

They are little and slick and have fantastic big pictures of each recipe which makes them fun to flip through. But the best part about Ali's books is that Ali is a normal person with kids and all her recipes are tried and true and the sorts of things you'd actually make. I bought two of her books--When Life Gives You Lemons (all the recipes use lemons or lemon juice) (did you know I have a lemon tree?) and When Life Gives You Friends. The picture on the cover sold me:

I have made a bunch of Ali's recipes and they've all been great. I make her Asian Chicken Skewers (from the Lemons book) almost weekly:

They are so easy and good and I don't even use skewers because I am lazy--and they are still good! She generously posted this recipe (and many others) on her website, lemonpoppycake.com.

Ali just recently published When Life Gives You Kids.

I won a copy from a giveaway on her blog. This book has tons of fun kid-food, like:

Charlie loves to pour over it and try to decide what special treats to make for various occasions.

Ali also has

and coming out any day now is

I have begged her to make one for quick dinners--I am a desperate woman each night come 5:00 pm--and she is working on it! I can't wait to get my hands on that one.

You can buy Ali's books here. They are $8.99 each and shipping is free! They'd make the perfect little gift.

Since I love Ali's books, I asked if I could do a give-away here. She kindly gave me a bunch, and this is where you come in. Comment on this post to win one of three prizes:

THE GRAND PRIZE: You get three books! LEMONS, KIDS, and FRIENDS.

RUNNER UP: You get two books! CHOCOLATE and LEMONS.

SECOND RUNNER-UP: You get one book! KIDS.

Winners will be picked at random and will be announced on Friday the 9th.

Good luck and check out Ali's website to try some of her recipes!

Seven Years

2011-08-20T09:07:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was our seven-year anniversary.

It ended up being such a fun day! Tyler was still at home in the morning when we were leaving for swim lessons, so he decided to come watch.

Then, since he was already late for work, I suggested he join me for BodyPump at the gym.

This picture is not representative of the male to female ratio at my gym. But there were two other (elderly) men in the class.

He loved it and I loved having him see a day in my life--although I did panic a bit that he was seeing only the fun parts and was going to think I have it too good.

He worked in the afternoon, and then we got a babysitter and went out to dinner at Xanh. I don't know what's come over me lately but I am always craving spring rolls.

Don't worry, I still love me a big basket of chips and salsa or breadsticks from the O.G. You can take the girl out of Chili's . . . .

After dinner we saw The Help.

We were good to ourselves and swung by CVS on the way to the movie for some of these:

The Help was great, maybe just a little slow-feeling to me, but I have no patience, especially for movies that go longer than two hours. Two hours is also my limit for baby and wedding showers. A bird's gotta fly!

After I took our babysitter home, I saw a house with their barbeque on fire (a crowd had already gathered so I drove on) and Tyler accidentally posted on facebook while signed in as me. It was a day full of fun things made more fun by the pleasure of Tyler's company.

Ripping Off the Bandaid

2011-08-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

I've known all summer that I would be teaching seminary beginning this week. It starts at 6:00 am every school day and requires me to plan a daily lesson about the Old Testament for a dozen teenagers.

Moses

I considered planning a bunch of lessons in advance over the summer but---surprise!--I didn't. I prefer the ripping off the bandaid approach--of course, this is one mother of a bandaid. I am trying to figure out my new groove. I was staying up til midnight until the night before seminary started--then when Bennett woke up at 7:00 I'd let him crawl around while I lied comatose on the couch (not pregnant, just tired!). Those days are over.

My Old Testament wall decor.

Now my goal is to go to bed by 9:00 but the reality is 10:30. I feel fine in the mornings but I am ready for dinner and bed at 2:30. I think I need to up my coke-intake. I need to see how my schedule shakes out this fall when Charlie and Max are in preschool--I will have limited Bennett-only time then and I need to figure out if it makes the most sense to try to workout then, plan my lessons, or roam the mall.

It ain't seminary if you don't have these guys on the wall.

If I know myself at all, I will be working out and roaming the mall during the days and planning my lessons right before I go to bed. I forgot how much I truly love being with the teenagers and teaching the class. I have fantastic students and I don't mind being the show-pony up front. I also love being forced to study the scriptures.

I don't know why it always surprises me how powerful they are. Isn't that the definition of insanity? And was Sinead O'Connor really the person who first said that about insanity or is that some totally messed up piece of information in my brain?

Update: Googled it. It was Albert Einstein. Boy I'm glad I didn't say that in public!

I am thinking about seminary a lot right now but I make a valliant effort to not bore Tyler with it all the time, because I would hate it if he came home and told me details about his work every day. Is that so wrong? It's true. Also, he will be surprised the my current level of talking about it is minimal, just like he was surprised to learn that I had been playing it cool while we were dating.

Goldfinger Gave Me the Finger

2011-08-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

Tyler and I decided to take a quick weekend trip to Tahoe, a sort of last hurrah before seminary started this morning. We slept over at Tyler's brother's house near Sacramento Friday night. Tyler left early in the morning to go do a bike ride in Tahoe with his brother.

I followed a few hours later with the kids in Goldfinger. All was fine as I followed I-80 through the mountains. We were coming to a section of road where the middle lane closes and you have to choose either the right or left lane--both of them are narrow with little or no shoulder for about 13 miles.

Suddenly Goldfinger completely lost power. I've been telling everyone it's the transmission, but what do I know. I was right at the point where the road split, so I coasted from the left lane into the coned-off middle lane. Goldfinger would go no further. I know you aren't supposed to stop in the middle of the freeway, but I was in a little coned-off zone, my own Cozy-Cone Hotel if you will. Here's my view out the rear:

See how the cars are channeled to either side? Not the safest place to stop, but seeing as how my car would not move at all, I was happy to be there. Had I been a couple hundred yards further down the road, I would have been completely blocking the single lane of traffic, and I don't know how on earth a tow truck would've gotten to me. I've always feared breaking down like this on my own, but I thought I stayed pretty calm overall.

The only time I cried was when a highway patrolman came by and was really nice and asked if we were okay. Luckily Tyler has Triple A (he's on his parent's account somehow) so I just had to wait til I could get ahold of him, and then wait for the tow truck. We ended up waiting about an hour and a half. Luckily we had snacks and baby food and a dvd player. The kids were hot but happy.

We got towed up to Truckee where Tyler met us with a rental car. The whole breakdown/towing experience took three hours, after which my soul needed chicken nuggets and fries and a huge Coke.The rest of our weekend was fun and we managed to have some good times:

No shops were open this weekend to look at Goldfinger, so we left it in Reno(!?!) and drove our rental car home. It's a Buick:

I always thought Buicks were for old people but this is a sweet ride. It's nicer than my van but not nearly as kid-friendly. I'm ready to get beat-up old Goldfinger and her automatic doors back. Between the repairs and the rental car and getting Goldfinger back from Reno, this is going to be an expensive ordeal. But we are all safe and it's not cancer.

Life With Benito at Age One

2011-08-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

My little guy is one!

It's fun to look back at him when he was tiny:

He was one strange-lookin' animal but I (for one) adored him from the get-go!

He's been my happiest baby.

But not my easiest.

He is soooo busy and into EVERYTHING. I constantly find these little messes all over my house:

I can't clean anything when he's around because he won't give me an inch. This happens every time I open the dishwasher. It's Pavlovian.

He plays pretty well on his own (making messes) but he comes and checks in with me every few minutes. He wants a quick snuggle and then he needs to be free. I love it--even when he opens the shower door and comes in to join me EVERY DAY.

Since he makes it hard to do anything productive at home, we spend most days out on the town. He spends most of his life tagging along doing big-boy stuff.

He's a great sport, even though his naps are willy nilly. He knows his place in the family.

We celebrated his birthday once in Utah, and I didn't want to subject anyone to another birthday party for him.

But I had bought Winnie the Pooh first birthday stuff at Diddam's 17-cent sale months ago and I was determined to use it. When I heard that Tyler's family would be getting together yesterday, I jumped on that and made cupcakes.

Poor Bennett's frosting was dairy-free and not good. He just smooshed his cupcake and crawled around the table. I didn't blame him. Poor guy.

We were hoping he'd outgrow his milk allergy by now, but he broke out in hives three times last week. I'm not sure what triggered it. He goes back to the allergist to get tested this week. I have low hopes. I need to figure out a decent milk-free diet for him.

This picture is so Bennett:

He's a goofball--tons of personality and opinions and laughs. He's going to be the nicest teenager someday. Right now he's the reason I get nothing done and my house is always a wreck. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I Can't Stop Eating Candy

2011-07-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

I can't stop eating candy. Skittles and Peanut M&Ms mostly but I'll eat anything. Gummies always sound good. So do brownies. What's funny is I am totally diligent about working out right now, which usually goes along with heathy eating for me, but this time I am just working out to repent for the candy. Does this qualify as a post? I don't even know anymore.

A Mangy Baby

2011-07-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

Is a sign of a good summer.

So is a disastrous house with no clean clothes or groceries. Tyler may not be convinced, but who wants to go to Costco at a time like this?

No One Ever Accused Me of Being a Go-Getter

2011-07-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

This is how my favorite summer days go right now:

Get up and piddle around the house for a long time. Finally get dressed in swim clothes for the kids and workout clothes for me.

Go to swim lessons. I lounge in the shade with Benito while the boys swim.

Then go to a class at the gym. Look around at the room full of women working out at at 11:30 in the morning and want to shout, "Do you know how luxurious this is?!?!? This is a life of luxury!!!" (Rue seminary starting in one month. That's right. One month.)

Then if I'm really good to myself, we pick up McD's, eat in the car, and run a couple errands. Everyone's happy because we have fries and our beverages of choice.

Get home and it's 2:30. Time to shower* and get ready for the day.

*Anyone who swam doesn't need to bathe.

Sojourn

2011-07-06T22:50:00.001-07:00

I just got back from an eleven-day trip to Salt Lake via Tahoe and the Nevada desert.

I'm always cold on the road. And parched.

We went for my nephew's baptism and to ride in my Mom's 4th of July float.

Bennett thrilled to be out of his carseat.

We stopped in Tahoe on the way to sleep and for Tyler to do a triathlon.

We also had a pro-longed stop at McDonalds in Wendover as the result of Noisy Putty in Max's hair.

Before

After

Yesterday we loaded back into Goldfinger (as Rex lovingly named my van) and drove back home in a single twelve hour and twenty minute shot.

It wasn't bad. Today has been full of unpacking and grocery shopping. I had to buy myself a big Eric's Deli sandwich for lunch to ease the pain of reentry. I know no one wants to hear about someone else's trip so no need to read on, but in the rare case you care, here are a few topics (or just scroll down the blog if you are desperate and want to read them all):

THE FLOAT--Patriotic Pirates
UTAH--Stuff I Did
UTAH--Stuff I Bought

Patriotic Pirates

2011-07-06T22:48:00.001-07:00

There is a neighborhood parade in Salt Lake that my mom does every Fourth of July. She builds a float every year, and this was our first year in town for the festivities. Mom's theme this year was the Patriotic Pirates, and the float was a pirate ship.

Mom and Sarah working on the float.

Of course Tyler and I love these kinds of projects. My mom enlisted Tyler to build a mast and sew sails. He agreed to do it as long as he had full creative control.

Betsy Ross.

It was fun spending a few nights in the garage watching the float come to life and decorating strollers for the babies.

Katie and Wart.

The float turned out darling!

So did the pirates:

Well at least the little ones.

Brooke got all the women striped shirts (horizontal!) off ebay. I told her they were going to run small and she needed to get them large. I rue the day I didn't demand an XL.

Here she is from the rear:

We walked with the float and it was fun when the people were cheering, but sometimes it would just be silent and a bit awkward so I took it upon myself to yell things like "Pirates Love America!" and "Yo Ho!"

It was so much fun and a great 4th of July tradition. And that be all I have to say about the float.

Utah--Stuff I Did

2011-07-06T22:47:00.001-07:00

The stars aligned this trip. My two best friends from high school, Kelly and Carlson, also happened to be in town.

We all overlapped for one afternoon so we met at Hagerman's for lunch (delicious) and got pedicures. I laughed my guts out and wanted way more time with them but I took what I could get.

I also got to see my friend Habs and her new baby but I didn't take pictures since she was nursing at the time.

All the cousins were in town. We took them all to the Children's Gardens at Thanksgiving Point.

Then we got lunch at the cafe there. I swear Utah has the best sandwiches.

Speaking of food, I ate like a horse the entire time. Here is my mom's spread for Sunday dinner:

We went swimming twice but I never took pictures.

Tyler and I went to the temple--nice to do it when we have grandma to babysit and we don't have to drive to Oakland.

We also saw Midnight in Paris.

I liked it. My favorite part was the tiny bit about the Indian Food and the pita bread.

We got together with Tyler's cousins, aunt, and his parents (who also happened to be in town)--no pictures!

On the afternoon of the 4th we took the kids to Mulligan's for mini-golf and the batting cages.

My mom did a little birthday party for Bennett and his cousin who are soon turning/just turned one:

Brooke came over to watch the Bachelorette in my mom's theater room:

Brooke's pulling for Ames!

One of my favorite parts about the trip was hanging out in my parent's yard in the evenings.

I love Utah summer nights and it was fun to watch the cousins play.

And perhaps the highlight of the trip was shopping for and figuring out new carpet for our rental house.

I jest. It was a headache and I'm not excited to pay for it, but we got er done.

Utah--Stuff I Bought

2011-07-06T22:32:00.001-07:00

I bought a few things in Utah and here they are:

1. A clothes shaver.

We did family photos in Utah and I was ill-prepared with a ratty looking cardigan. My sister-in-law took me to Walgreens at 11 pm on the night before the photo to get one of these clothes shavers. It took all the pills off my cardi and made it look like new. Awesome. It was seven bucks.

2. Paper for Bennett's baby book.

I know, I know I'm the only person who makes baby books like this anymore, but I do so sue me. Roberts is my favorite craft store and they had a 50% off everything sale on the 4th. I waited in line for 40 minutes to check out. Madness.

3. Christmas stuff.

I bought this after Christmas and stored it at my mom's til I could haul it home in my van. I love all this stuff and can't wait to decorate this year!

4. The Penguin Race:

This was actually a gift from my mom to Bennett but it is worthy of mention because my kids have not stopped playing with it. When I asked Charlie what his favorite part of the whole trip was, he said "The Penguin Game." I am ordering more on Amazon.

5. LDS Scripture Rock:

These are the scripture mastery verses for the Old Testament seminary class, which I will be teaching this upcoming school year. But that's a different post. Tyler has strongly suggested I wait a few weeks this year before doing a dance/lipsync number for my class. The first week was too soon last time. TOO SOON!

The Black Lung

2011-06-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

It was just about a year ago that my lung collapsed and I spent a week in the hospital. I must have passed my gimpy lungs onto Bennett because he landed himself a spot at that same hospital yesterday for breathing problems--lung inflammation caused by a virus and/or asthma.

It started Wednesday night. Lets just say one of us insisted (over objection) that Bennett should have to cry it out all night. (Bennett usually wakes up about once a night for a bottle.) Bennett was up probably every hour crying. Of course no one can confirm this because a certain husband slept through it all. I gave up at 5:30 and got up for the day with the little guy. He was screaming non-stop and his breathing was labored and raspy. I took him to see our pediatrician and she gave him some lung treatments (the nebulizer) to open up his airways.It helped, but within a couple hours he seemed to be really struggling again--he was sooo tired, breathing fast and his little chest was sucking in way too far each time he took a breath. I took him back to the pediatrician. She gave him some steroids, did the lung treatment a couple more times, and had him admitted to the hospital. Of course once we got there he seemed completely fine, probably because he was juiced up on meds.

He cruised around the hospital crib and was happy unless he was being messed with--sadly there was a steady stream of people messing with him. They kept up the lung treatments (an albuterol inhaler mask) which he hated (and still hates--I have to do it at home now).

They had pink jammies for him.

Luckily Tyler was able to work from home with Charlie and Max. It was a long and stressful day for me and I was pretty spent by the time we got settled in the hospital. It did my heart good to see Tyler and his friend show up unintentionally dressed like tech-nerd twins:

They gave Bennett a blessing and then I sent Tyler out for In-n-Out, peanut m&ms, and skittles. The best part of the night was when everything settled down for a bit and I got to sit in a rocker with my cuddly little patient, eat those m&ms and watch the first half of You Again.

Jamie Lee Curtis--good for the exhausted soul.

Bennett did great breathing-wise through the night (though neither of us slept very much) and we got to go home this morning.
I'm just glad that we don't play by Darwin's rules anymore or my kids wouldn't stand a chance.

Beating the Heat

2011-06-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

It's 90 degrees here today. I foolishly went to Great America.

Triple Threat.

We have season passes there this year and while it is no Gilroy Gardens the place has two perks, and only two perks:

1. It is ten minutes away.
2. It has bumper cars.

Max loves them and watching a 3-year-old drive a bumper car is a delight.

Great America is not shady or breezy like Gilroy Gardens. It's just plain hot.

I don't like to roast in the heat of the noonday, so we had three options at the park today:

1. Play in the water even though we didn't bring swim stuff.

Where's Waldo?

2. Drink big cokes in the shade.

3. Take in a Snoopy on Ice show.

I went to the show because 35 minutes in an ice-rink sounded lovely. It was. But once there I found myself sheepishly enjoying the show (ice dancing!).

I felt proud of myself for exposing my boys to the arts.

Let me amend my list of Great America perks to include ice shows.

Great America aside, my best new activity for beating the heat is going up a tiny canyon near us.

They have charcoal grills for hot dogs and a little stream that is perfect for wading.

I like it because I get to relax on the shady riverbank with Bennett while Tyler helps the boys in the frigid water. Mostly I just love that I discovered this place and introduced it to Tyler. I am totally winning in our marriage!

This picture is fantastic because you can see my chicken hairs that always come approximately nine months after I have a baby. I don't know if chicken hairs subtract from my lead or from Tyler since he's married to them.

His and Hers

2011-06-12T20:49:00.001-07:00

Charlie may be Tyler's boy:

But Max
Age 3

Is mine.

Me, age 3.

Bennett is still up for grabs.
Benito, 10 months.

There's a New Mostess In Town

2011-06-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

I have every right to steal The Mostess's material.
Trust me.

Actually there's not a new Mostess in town. I've hosted two events in the last two months and that's plenty. Mostess-ing takes a lot of work and money. I am ready to mooch off the hospitality of others for awhile. I'll show up with some brownies.

A few weeks ago I hosted a going away party for some friends. Everyone loved this family so a ton of people were coming. We all know how I feel about crowds so I was getting more and more anxious with every rsvp. I made Tyler go to the church and get several dozen chairs because I thought the crowd would be more manageable if we could get a bunch of them seated around the perimeter of the yard.

Tyler doubted and scoffed but I proved to be right. Almost every chair was used. People like to sit down when they eat dinner. It's a fact. I also got a bounce house to keep the kids out of the way.

Eighty bucks well spent.

Most rental houses in our area have a gardener who takes care of the yard. That sounds fancier than it is--basically a guy comes and mows every two weeks and we have to pay for it in the rent. Our gardener is unreliable and hadn't come for weeks before the party. The day before the party our lawn looked like a jungle:

We were trying to figure out how to borrow a lawn mower from someone when I saw another gardener mowing two houses down. I flagged him down and paid him ten bucks to do our yard as well. Good help is so hard to find.

A few days ago I hosted another party--this time for a friend who is getting married and moving away.

Fringey streamer idea from Oh Happy Day.

This one was just for women and a much smaller crowd. I did a dessert bar and decorated with pinks and oranges--not her wedding colors but cute girl colors that I never get to use.

I got the pdf for the pennant banner from this etsy store. But my best work--my decorative pieces de resistance--were these homemade fluffy pom poms:

I tried to find some in the stores but couldn't so I made those suckers the day of the shower using some tissue paper I had and these instructions. Yes I am MacGyver.

I don't want to throw all these pretty things away, but I ain't saving them so if anyone wants them for a party or shower let me know. (Locals only--I'm not shipping this stuff!)

What's Going On

2011-05-24T21:58:00.001-07:00

There's been a lot going on lately. Just not a lot of blogging! Here's some of the goings on:

My Grandma Warner passed away, six weeks after my grandpa (her husband of sixty-nine years).

I flew to Utah with Bennett and spoke at the funeral. Hopefully I'll post more about it soon.

Tyler left town on Mother's Day and was gone for two weeks.

At The Mostess's sock-hop.

He had work to do in Turkey, Ireland, and England. I missed him and his help, but I loved not cooking and the fact that my mother-in-law took Charlie and Max for the weekend. I wanted to blog about it but I didn't want someone to attack while Tyler was gone.

My parents came to visit.

We did all the usual things including a trip to the commissary to stock up on cheap groceries.

I hope the Big One hits soon. I spent $500--which included three months of expensive soy formula for this guy:

He's worth it.

I got a new calling (church assignment) to teach Gospel Doctrine. I'm teaching the New Testament, which rocks because I taught it in seminary a couple years ago.

Parables are the bomb!

I love everything about this calling.

I've been shopping and returning a lot. Why are good casual summer shirts so hard to find? I am trying to decide on this skirt:

I have to look good for Gospel Doctrine!

We finally had a reason to drive through Fairfield, so we visited the Jelly Belly Factory and took their free tour.

"Beans" are Charlie's favorite so it was really fun, plus the pictures were fantastic:

The women in my ward have a challenge going on to read the Book of Mormon in forty days. That's, like, a ton of reading each day. I'm behind but I'm trying to read as much as I can. It's been great for me but it makes it hard to spend a lot of time on the internet. (Can I pretend like I haven't blogged because I've been too busy reading my scriptures? Anyone believe that?)

I joined a new gym. This is revolutionary. I was at 24 Hour Fitness for eight years. That gym was like a brother to me. I finally left them for a gym with awesome childcare and classes.

I no longer have to wake up early to go to the gym! This has changed my life in such a dramatic way, I can't even tell you. The downside is working out now takes a couple hours out of my day. I tried so hard to find a gym that would require no time or effort whatsoever but this was the best I could find.

So that's what's going on with me. What's going on with you?

Easter Pics

2011-04-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Tyler's boss gave us a really thoughtful Christmas gift--a giftcard to Picture People.

Bennett--8.5 months

I have been wanting to use it for a couple weeks but Bennett kept waking up with rashes or scratches on his face. I was a bit panicked because I wanted to get them done before Bennett starts crawling which will be any day now. He woke up with a pristine face today so we got in and got 'er done.

I believe the most stressful events in life are: deaths, divorce, new jobs, moving, and photoshoots. I have dramatically lowered my expectations over the years and now only strive to capture my children's likeness-es.

The Picture People knocked these out in 20 minutes. I would have liked more shots and poses but at least it was quick and fairly painless.

My 12-year-old niece is staying with me right now and came along to help.

I was able to send Charlie and Max to Mrs. Fields with her during Bennett's shoot, thus avoiding complete anarchy in the studio.

I am so jealous of anyone who has a 12-year-old daughter.

Charlie's pictures are not my favorite.

Charlie--4.5 years.

His clothes are too big, bless his heart. I probably should have vested him.

I like Max's even though he smiles all phony and squinty 99% of the time:

Max--3 years.

Bennett's are all adorable. He is the cutest ever right now.

I am going to eat him for Easter dinner with a side of funeral potatoes and all the chocolate I can steal from my kids.

A Few Other Things About Last Weekend

2011-04-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

1. Tyler earned some major points.

He had a guys' golf trip scheduled for last weekend, and he was absolutely giddy with anticipation. Then Grandpa died. I told Tyler he could still go on the trip, but he said he wanted to come to the funeral instead. He golfed Friday and then took a crazy 6:00 am flight out of Oakland to be there for the day with my family. I was so glad he came and I am now feeling very benevolent towards him and his golf addiction.

2. Tyler's parents watched Charlie and Max all weekend so Tyler and I could go and not have to buy last-minute tickets for four people.

Chris and Bennett

It is sooo nice to be able to call my in-laws up anytime and know that if they are free, they will be more than willing to take the boys. Things would have been so much more difficult and expensive this weekend without them.

Max and Mike (and Ashley!)

The best part is my kids love spending time at Grandma's, and my in-laws do a great job of convincing me that they really enjoy having the kids--though I am not sure that includes sharing a bed with Max.

3. My mom's house is a den of temptation. She had homemade sugar cookies, Girl Scout cookies, an entire candy bar in Easter colors, chocolate donuts, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, etc. etc.

Rex porking on donuts with the candy bar in the background.

I don't know how my mom stays so skinny. I ate nothing but candy all weekend til the funeral luncheon, at which point I ate half a pan of funeral potatoes and two rounds of dessert.

4. My brothers are such fools. Friday night we were sitting around at Mom's house and Rex came upstairs in this shirt:

He looks at me and, obviously referring to this incident at Christmas, he puts on a little show saying, "Oh! Oh My! Isn't this awkward!"

It was so dang dumb I couldn't stand it, but the worst part was he and the Wart were cracking up and giving high fives and then I realized this lameness was actually a planned thing.

I guess they had been working on it for a while. Aren't they clever! A regular couple of Jerry Seinfelds these two . . . .

Grandpa Warner

2011-04-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

My wonderful Grandpa Warner died a week ago, April 4th. He would have turned 96 this week.

Grandpa Poole, Grandma Warner, and Grandpa Warner in 2006.

Grandpa always wore these plaid shirts.

You couldn't find a better man than my grandpa. He grew up in a tiny desert town in California and attended a one-room schoolhouse. He served three missions for our church. When the stake president asked Grandpa if he and Grandma would serve the third time in England, Grandpa's response was "Do you want us to leave tonight or in the morning?" He raised four children and worked as a deputy director for the Weather Bureau. He was very smart and calm and kind. I never once heard him raise his voice or say an unkind word about anybody.

With Bennett a couple weeks ago.

When I was little, Grandpa used to tickle me by "counting my ribs." He came to every single one of my dance recitals and piano recitals and school assemblies. It took me years to realize that he came to all these because he was a sweet and supportive grandpa--not because he loved the performances. After every dance recital he would tell me he recognized me because I was the prettiest one up there. Those must have been brutal for him!

We spent a lot of time at my grandparent's house when I was growing up. After the funeral, the hearse drove grandpa by his house on the way to the cemetery for "one last look."

Some of my best childhood memories are all the Christmas Eves we spent at Grandma and Grandpa's house. In recent years, I've visited my grandparents dozens of times at their home and they've always been sitting in these recliners in their den:

We'd sit and talk--mostly Grandma and I--and Grandpa would listen and ask how Tyler was doing and tell me sweet things about Grandma. The most impressive thing to me about Grandpa has always been his unfailing kindness and care towards my grandma. She has had terrible health for the last ten years and he has catered to her every need and been so happy to do it. They just celebrated their 69th wedding anniversary in March.

Grandpa suffered from congestive heart failure and he really struggled the last few months. He was ready and willing to die but hung on as long as he could because my grandma did not want to be left alone. His death was bittersweet for our family because we are happy he is now free from pain, but we are all worried about how grandma will do without him.

Grandpa served in WWII and had full military honors at his funeral.

His funeral was Saturday in Salt Lake. Tyler and I flew out with Bennett. All sixteen of Grandpa's grandchildren came, half from out of state.

Cousins lined up by age.

I hadn't seen some of them in years. We were all pretty close growing up so it was a great reunion.

The funeral was a great tribute to Grandpa. One cool thing was Grandpa had written his testimony a few years ago and my brother Rex (who is named after Grandpa) read it at the funeral.

It was snowing like crazy at the cemetery, which was reminiscent of Grandpa Poole's funeral a year ago.

Brooke actually put on Sorels, which was both brilliant and shameful:

I love this note to Grandpa that Grandpa's younger brother sent with some flowers:

I can't imagine a man better prepared to meet his maker than Grandpa. I am sad I won't see him in that chair anymore, but I feel so lucky I got to have him for 31 years. He was as good as they come. I love him and admire him more than I can say.

Mom Jeans

2011-04-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Jeans these days! They are so low cut and, while coverage is a problem for everyone, I swear I am specifically built to show crack. Tyler has diagnosed my body issue but I will not put his graphic term for my condition out there--I have already put too much out there if you know what I mean. I usually wear Silver Suki's which are relatively high cut--but not high enough.

I am tired of always trying to make sure my back is turned to the wall if I have to bend over. I am tired of always wondering if my shirt is long enough when I am simply sitting in a chair! I am tired of mooning society. I've tried long shirts--they aren't foolproof. I have invented a crack-hiding undergarment in my head, but we returned our sewing machine so I haven't been able to build a prototype. I had no choice but to search for that mythic pair of jeans that hitherto only existed in dreams and legend: Cute high-waisted jeans.

Hilarious SNL commercial for mom jeans:

When it comes to bras and jeans I only go to Nordstrom. These are not the times to go cheap. My journey began in Utah when I was shopping with Brooke. We started in TBD with a cute young girl bringing us all the higher-waisted Joe's, Citizen's, and Seven's. I quickly confirmed what I already suspected: I was not going to find what I needed in a department for the young and hip. I was glad I had Brooke with me at that point because she asked the salesgirl to please go to the old lady departments and start bringing in the mom jeans.

Obama was mocked for wearing mom jeans, but I wouldn't want a president in hip jeans.

Over the course of two trips to Nordies, I tried on just about every pair of Jag jeans, Cut From the Cloth, and yes even the Not Your Daughter's. (Half the time I call them the "Not Without My Daughter's.") I bought one pair and ordered three more online. None of them made me feel cute and I was ready to throw in the towel. I went back to Nordstrom last night to return everything. This time I went to the Narrative department. You've never been there--it's where they keep the Not Without Your Daughter's. I explained my problem to the the salesgirl and she convinced me to try on just a few more. She sat outside my dressing room and made me model each pair so she could see how they looked and diagnose what I needed. She was everything I've ever wanted in a jeans salesperson. And then she found the golden ticket:

Not Your Daughter's SKINNY jeans:

I usually don't like skinnies on me, but these are more like a straight cut. I think the skinny counteracts the frump that is inherent in the high waist.

They are very stretchy and if I stand just right, they actually touch my belly button. Victory! I feel cute in them and they got the RARE Tyler Carter Stamp of Approval. I can bend completely over and maintain decency. And if decency's not the most important feature in a pair of jeans I don't know what is. Now seriously go watch that SNL commercial, it's worth the 60 seconds.

Swimsuit Giveaway!

2011-03-23T14:14:00.001-07:00

No, I am not hosting a swimsuit giveaway. But Brooke is. She's bigtime now.

Brooke's new suit.

I have to take some of the credit because I found these suits and passed them onto Brooke--much like my discoveries of eyebrow plucking, blogging, and the fact that calories not fat grams are what matter. I also invented the internet. I was intrigued with Hapari suits online (they have underwire!) so I told Brooke to go check them out at their store in Utah. She fell in love with the underwire and bought one.

Love this one, but it doesn't have underwire. It's dead to me.

I was glad she bought one because I was able to try hers on while I was in Utah last weekend. I've been working hard to lose weight, and the sad thing about losing weight is you feel so much better that you feel like you should look awesome in a swimsuit . . . . But really it was a big reality check--I'm no hardbody yet. Still, the suit was adorable and provided coverage and lift. I'll be buying one, probably this one:

And that's how Brooke's giveaway, like all things, became about me. Go enter here!

My Quick Trip

2011-03-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

It was high time for Bennett to visit his Utah relatives so I took him to Salt Lake this past weekend. He and my mom got on just fine.

I made sure my visit fell over Brooke's birthday weekend. This was genius because she got the whole day off to live the good life with me. Brooke and I managed to wear the same thing both days I was there:

At lunch at a cute little cafe in Draper.

To make it even more obnoxious, we have the same purse:

That's my fault because I loved Brooke's and shamelessly asked my mom to hunt it down and buy it for me. My mom was excited for the challenge. I know, I'm lucky.

Cam's wife Katie who loves babies--we love having her around!

After lunch on Saturday my mom took Bennett home for the day so Brooke and I were completely unfettered. We got pedicures and hit a ton of stores and tried on clothes like mad. If you must know more, Brooke covered it here. I'll discuss my quest for mom jeans another day. Yes, I want mom jeans. I have an issue.

We were Starvin Marvin by about 7:00 (in spite of hitting both Godiva and Mrs. Fields) so we met the fam at Smokey Mountain Pizza. Mom had Bennett in a pink parka (it was snowing!) and he was dead asleep in the booth:

Sunday I got to visit my grandparents. They are both in their nineties and their health is long gone.

They are both ready and willing to go as soon as the Lord will let them. My poor grandpa has gotten so skinny and weak, but he was able to hold Bennett and it was great to see him:

I flew home Sunday night on one of those tiny planes. I was careless and forgot to get water for Bennett's bottle. He started screaming before take-off and didn't stop til we were in the air. Then he pooped while we were landing. Good thing we'll never see any of those passengers again--except TYLER'S BOSS who was across the aisle from me. Unfortunately I had already said hello so there was no staring towards the window and hiding for the entire flight.

My Lot in Life

2011-03-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I tried to spite my friend The Mostess by being the coolest mom at park day. I packed my twisty balloons and twisted ill-shaped dogs for the kids. I totally won! The joke was on me, though, because someone saw me and asked me to make balloon-flowers for our Relief Society party tonight. I vowed to hide my talents under a bushel from then on. The party planner sent me some pictures for inspiration--here's one:

I laughed so hard! Not in my repertoire! I did some googling on how to make balloon flowers, and let me tell you, there are some real nerds out there making self-videos of their balloon twisting. This is coming from a someone who medaled in the Academic Decathlon--I know my nerds. But the best thing I learned was how to make these big flowers:

Don't mind the scarf on my pants--it was for something.

They are pretty simple and I feel like they could come in handy for you so here is the link--the lady in this video is neither a nerd nor an English speaker but it's easy to see what she's doing.

I also made a garland across the stage--here it is:

And some extra bouquets:

Balloon flowers are big with the elderly set--we didn't tell anyone they could take these but I watched almost all the old ladies help themselves to a few, and when those were gone they started pulling apart the garland!

The hardest part of all this is the blowing and tying. I went to a Bachelor finale party last night and surprised my friends with a huge stack of balloons for them to pump up and tie while we watched.

They got back at me by not shutting their yappers during the entire show. I couldn't hear Brad! An eye for an eye.

And finally, there was a little program after the dinner tonight. A couple ladies wrote a number about the history of aprons and had women modeling all sorts of different aprons. They told me they had one that I had to wear--they had this and just thought of me. . . .

I was the big finish and had to walk out doing sexy moves and waves and blowing kisses and stuff. It was awesome.

Self-Help

2011-03-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

I have identified a weak spot in my daily grind/moral fiber. Every morning when I am trying to get the kids out the door I come this close to turning into Bobby Knigh t. It's the shoes I tell you.

I have these three little goats--one is cute and immobile but the other two are wild and all over the place and I have to herd them to the door and get them into shoes (and socks and jackets!).

"Are they twins?"

Have you ever tried putting shoes on goats? The process makes me want to yell, especially if I am running late. I know it takes up to ten minutes to shoe and jacket and herd and buckle the boys. So I have a new rule for myself: If I have not allowed ten minutes for the getting-out-the-door process, I cannot lose my temper and yell. I have to use a fake sweet voice and be patient and just be late. But, if the stars align and I have allowed ten minutes and the boys still manage to drive me over the edge, then I can be mean and scary!

But hopefully I won't have to lose it because I will have a full ten minutes, see? So mostly I will just be a really nice and happy mom with less rage in my life. Or better yet I will save my rage for bad customer service situations, which is where it really belongs anyway.

My Puffy Baby

2011-02-26T16:14:00.000-08:00

The problem with losing weight is I have no milk. That's just how I roll. I bought my first big tub of Enfamil today and made Bennett a bottle. Half an hour later, I noticed his eye was swollen.

Pic I texted to Tyler

Within minutes it was swollen completely shut, his other eye was starting to swell, his ears were big and puffy, and he had hives all over his forehead. Most frightening of all were two golfball size-lumps on the back of his head. I gave him some Benadryl and tried desperately to reach Tyler (who was golfing) to no avail. I didn't want to waste time trying to find someplace for Charlie and Max to go, so I threw the three kids in the car and headed to Urgent Care. By the time I got there the little guy was so swollen and puffy, he looked like the monster guy in Goonies.

I broke down and started crying as I checked him in ("Keep it together Man!"). I heard them tell the guy next to me that there was a two hour wait, but luckily when you have a baby that looks like that they take you in right away. He's allergic to milk-based formula and he'll most likely have to be on special formula now. I feel guilty for choosing weight-loss over nursing. The doctor prescribed him some steroids and more Benadryl. I went to Target to pick it up. I was beat down by this point (largely from trying to break up fights between Charlie and Max) and it didn't help matters when my double stroller gave up the ghost, sending Max crashing through his seat to the ground. It was a rough day. The meds have helped and most of the puffiness is down now but you can still see it a little:

He's been such a little trooper today. Me--not so much.

My Happy Baby

2011-02-19T13:13:00.000-08:00

Bennett is 6-and-a-half months now. It's a good age for him. We call him Benito (rhymes with Cheeto).

He's my happiest baby (which isn't saying much if you knew Charlie as a baby).

He gives big smiles to anyone who gives him any attention.

I'll put him down and he'll give me these cute grins and I can't help but pick him back up to play with him.

He outgrew his carrier.

He puts up with a lot from his brothers.

Charlie told me he made Bennett "Mary" (from the nativity).

He loves his saucer.

He's also the reason I don't post very often.

He's my sweet little muffin. I'm in love with him and I don't care who knows it.

Trimming the Fat

2011-02-12T09:53:00.000-08:00

Over Christmas at my Mom's I came upstairs in my red pajamas and my brother shouted "Kool Aid!" I laughed and cried at the same time. It's no secret I've been packing a few extra pounds. But that was the old me. I'm trimming the fat and here's the skinny:

The Truth: Bennett is six months now. The weight hasn't come off as quickly as it did with my other two kids.

The Whole Truth: After delivering Bennett I gained ten pounds.

The Truth: I intentionally ate a lot because I wanted to keep up my milk supply. I ate for Bennett.

The Whole Truth: A couple [packages] of Oreos may have been for me.

The Truth: It's hard for me to find clothes that fit when I'm in great shape.

The Whole Truth: It's next to impossible to find clothes that fit when I have nursing boobs, linebacker shoulders, and a man-gut. I am sooooo sick of the ill-fitting black cardies I've been sporting.

That cake didn't stand a chance.

The Truth: I decided a long time ago to nurse for six months before trying to lose weight. February was the six-month mark.

The Whole Truth: Winter is a good time to carry extra pounds. You get to hide out in coats and sweaters. Now Costco and Target have their swimsuits out and it's time to get skinny for summer. (I plan to beef up again when the Halloween candy comes out.)

The Truth: I made my triumphant return to the gym. The first day back I ran three miles and felt great. I truly enjoy working out.

Burning calories in the park with Charlie.

The Whole Truth: I could hardly move after that first day. I've felt like I've been towing a boat on the treadmill every time since.

The Truth: My gym attendance has been sporadic because Tyler has been traveling and my gym doesn't have childcare.

The Whole Truth: Some mornings I just get can't my lazy butt out of bed.

The Truth: I have been very strict with my diet of complete deprivation.

The Whole Truth: Diet Coke is my total crutch. I am drinking it by the barrel. I see Bitsy more than I see Tyler.

The Truth: I'm determined to lose 25 pounds by Easter.
The Whole Truth: I was determined to lose that much regardless, but I told Tyler I'd lose 25 pounds if he promised me a hot new Easter outfit. He did. I should have asked for diamonds.

The Truth: I lost five pounds during my first two weeks on the wagon.

The Whole Truth: I also lost some of my milk supply.

The Truth: I feel better already.

The Whole Truth: I also feel like I should be skinny by now. It's hard to be patient and give the weight-loss time.

The Truth: I have an iron will and I am going to fight the good fight til I reach my goal.

The Whole Truth: I occasionally brake for chocolate chips, bread baskets, and french fries. But I save calories by passing on the veggies.

Superhero Party

2011-02-08T21:49:00.000-08:00

Max turned three today.

Not Tyler's best work on the cake decorating.

Max is in the middle between two attention-grabbing brothers. I always feel like he doesn't get enough of my attention, so I threw him a birthday party out of guilt. (Charlie got a party when he turned three . . . . ) It had to be a cheap, at-home affair which is the most labor-intensive type of party. Max loves Superman so we had a Superhero Training Party.

We ended up with five guests, my two boys, and a surly six-month-old. I assigned Tyler's mom the Bennett-holding job so I was free to make a fool of myself.

I had plastic capes and eye-masks for the kids:

The kids wore them for about two minutes.

I had to crop about 10 pounds of upper back fat out of this picture.

The kids got supersized with McDonald's food (Max's favorite).

Then we practiced some superhero skills--jumping over buildings (blocks), building walls out of boxes and breaking through them, flying off the couch onto an air mattress. The best game was rescuing stuffed animals that villains had put under these balloons:

I used an electric pump to blow those up--genius!

The kids had to find the animals and put them under their pictures on the wall:

What can I say--it's hard to come up with games that 2 and 3-year-olds can do. We had an obstacle course outside and then a real villain came!

The kids attacked him with swords.

After about five minutes, Charlie announced, "Oh! It's not a real villain! It's just my dad!" Then we had cake and presents. I bought these printable favor toppers for a few bucks off etsy:

I think they added a much-needed touch of class. The whole thing was a little chaotic and messy but my main goal was for the kids to have fun and they did.

Now is the part where I should say that it was all worth it just to see Max smile.

But really I am not sure whether it was worth it. From now on I'm not having real parties for my kids til they're four.
Editorial Note: Now I feel guilty that Bennett won't have a third birthday party. I reserve the right to throw third birthday parties out of guilt.

More Stuff and Stuff

2011-02-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

I know I said I was going to do a getting-in-shape post, but I am not in the mood. I spent another day in the Infirmary that is my house and I just want to write about stuff. I've lost my sense of what makes for interesting conversation so read on at your own risk. The only adults I've seen today were the other patrons at 7-11 when I ran in to get milk.

The owner of my local Sev is named Bitsy and we are friends. He told me his life story once. Bitsy's Sev miraculously had Caffeine-Free Diet Coke on tap when I was pregnant with Bennett. It was replaced by Coke-Zero right after Bennett was born. I asked Bitsy to bring back the decaf and he did! You know what this means--Night Cokes!

Tyler is out of town but he'll get home soon. Night shifts with sick kids and a nursing baby are brutal when you are on your own. You know what would help . . . a Night Coke!

I just learned that Costco Photo now refills ink cartridges for $7.99.

One more reason to love that place.

How did our moms and grandmas get by during long weeks without the internet and Facebook and dvr'd shows? Long-distance phone-calls were a luxury for crying out loud! And then there was WWII and the husbands all left for years. Brutal.

I am planning a Superhero party for Max's birthday next week. The party is going to be tiny because our house is small and Tyler doesn't want to shell out for a party at a place. The boys and I have spent some of our sick days practicing superhero games and making superhero stuff. We made this--I have to show it off--don't envy my fireplace:

I'm not crafty but my kids love it. Boys are fun and easy to please and I'll be okay if I don't ever get a daughter.

I still totally want a daughter.

I'm still nursing so tv is very important to me. Just in case anyone cares, my daily shows are as follows: Monday--The Bachelor; Tuesday--Biggest Loser; Wednesday--Modern Family; Thursday--The Office/30 Rock. I don't know which day Wipeout comes out, but I watch it with my kids on Sundays. And I love Pawn Stars but there is hardly ever a new one.

Everyone uses RetailMeNot, right?

Tell me if you don't because you are wasting money every time you shop online. They have a code for $5.00 off at Target, and you get free shipping with $50 or more, so my new trick when I need stuff from Target online (and who doesn't?) is to buy the item I need plus enough superfluous stuff to get the $5.00 off and the free shipping. Then I return the extra stuff the next time I hit Target. I'm sure Target will be onto me soon and will take the coupon away. It's people like me who ruin things for the rest of you.

That's all I have. Talk to me, Goose, or I'm heading back to the Sev to find out if Bitsy uses RetailMeNot.

The Fam and Stuff

2011-01-30T21:16:00.001-08:00

I am out of the blog world and need to get a new reader. It's just a matter of taking the time and doing it. I need to make the internet a priority!

My kids have been sick for five days now.

I've been trying to be a good citizen by keeping them in and I am going crazy. I am doing all the drive-thru errands I can think of, but if I can't do real stuff soon I might snap.

Bennett is almost six months.

He turned a corner after Christmas. He's good now. He smiles and hangs out in his saucer and drifts off to sleep when we lay him in his crib. Hallelujah!

Charlie's thing is Legos.

He has a bunch of little sets and he does them by himself over and over. I love it. I feel justified in buying lots of sets because I have a legion of boys who will eventually use them. Of course I am very anal about not losing pieces. As soon as Charlie finishes building something I put it in a Ziplock and put it up high.

Some friends had us over for pie last week. As we were leaving Tyler ran back in and came back to the car with their container of leftover whipped cream. Then he sat on the couch and ate the whole thing with a spoon:

Of course this is the pot calling the kettle black. I've been on the See-Food diet for six months. But February is my month of reckoning. I have to get back on the wagon. I am both excited and dreading it. This topic is huge and I'll do a post all about it tomorrow. Or soon. Get excited!

Resolution

2011-01-11T20:34:00.000-08:00

For my yearly resolutions I like to pick one important task I want to get done in the coming year. In 2009 I resolved to get a pair of designer jeans.

Did it. In 2010 I resolved to get myself a retainer.

Did it. I bet you are now dying to know what my exciting resolution is for 2011. Here it is: I am going to take my kids to the dentist.

This resolution carries with it the obligation of diligently brushing the kids' teeth out of shame and fear. I'm talking about every day! Judge if you must, but yes this is a new thing for 2011. This is a great resolution system because you can succeed and also because you get something done each year. In 2012 I'm planning to go to the optometrist. (Is anybody here an optometrist!?!) But lets not get too far ahead of ourselves.

What will you do in 2011?

Christmas Re-Cap

2011-01-05T12:59:00.000-08:00

We suffered a minor tragedy this Christmas. We started using a new memory card Christmas morning. It was corrupt so we lost all our pictures from Christmas day through New Year's. Don't think that gets you out of a Christmas post! I'm going to steal Brooke's photos and cobble together this post gosh dang it.

Thankfully we have Christmas Eve photos!

This year we did Christmas Eve at my in-law's house in Hollister. It was the year for Tyler's siblings to go to their in-law's so it was a very calm and quiet night.

My kids were the only grandkids so they got tons of attention.

We went home and Santa came!

I am a little heartbroken to have lost the Christmas morning pictures (especially Bennett's since it's his first Christmas) but life rolls on.

We had a 4:00 flight to Utah on Christmas afternoon--it was the best solution I could think of to let us do Christmas morning at home and still see my parents on Christmas.

Mom's Christmas candy bar.

We were running late to make our flight, so we just left the present-opening carnage as it was and headed to the airport. If we do this again I'll be better about packing in advance.

The week at my mom's was family-packed. Both my brothers stayed at my mom's for some portion of the week. It was fun to see the kids play so well with their cousins.

Bennett with Rex's and Brooke's babies.

It snowed for three days straight. My mom was a hero and took the kids out to build snowmen. Tyler took them sledding.

I stayed in with Bennett, who ended up being a total diva the whole trip.

Bennett - 5 Months

Tyler ended up having to work a lot, so I wasn't as free as I hoped I'd be. Still, I got out whenever I could. I got to go to lunch with Brooke and Jill at Kneaders:

Dinner with my siblings and parents at Goodwood BBQ:

It looks like Rex is dating my mom. He wishes!

I got to buy up tons of Christmas decorations for next year at Tai Pan.

We need a place like this in the Bay Area!

Got to see True Grit with Tyler--loved it!

Got to see Tangled with the kids--loved it!

After which I had to go get my hair highlighted.

I can't bore you any further because I have no more pictures.

We packed up New Year's Eve and headed home with our 7 bags, 3 kids, double stroller, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Blurry pic from Tyler's phone.

We pulled in at home moments before midnight. Tyler left immediately to go help clean up the youth New Year's dance and I was welcomed home by Christmas carnage and dirty dishes.

Tonight's Gonna be a Good Night

2011-01-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

We've had some bad Bachelors in recent years. I won't name names.

I've suffered through them all. And now tonight it's the moment we've all been waiting for--the Most Dramatic Moment in Bachelor History--the triumphant return of Brad Womack!

I loved Brad when he first came on the scene in 2007. I supported him through the bloodbath that was his Final Rose Ceremony.

I even wanted to name Bennett "Brad." I am so excited to have Brad Womack ~~back in my life~~ as our Bachelor. My only fear is that I've put the man on too high of a pedestal . . . I am nervous that he will disappoint, as have so many who have gone before.

Are you watching?

Tis the Season

2010-12-22T18:12:00.000-08:00

Like all of us I have spent December running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Here are a few reasons why:

1. I host a Gingerbread House-making party every year for Tyler's family.

I've always made the gingerbread from scratch. I'm an idiot.

My sister-in-law Ashley's darling house.

I love the party but I don't enjoy all the time spent baking beforehand. Next year I'm buying the gingerbread, and no one will care.

2. Tyler had the nerve to be born in December.

He cares, so I have to make an effort. I've told him we cannot ever conceive a child in March. I can't handle another birthday in December.

3. Tyler's bosses keep sending really nice gifts, and I keep getting called to please produce a classy but fun Boss Gift immediately, if not sooner.

I love you Harry & David but please quit showing up on my porch.

4. Then there are the other little last minute gifts. I am particularly proud of this one:

A friend of mine loved some peppermint cookies I made, so I gave her the recipe and all the ingredients tied up in a cute little peppermint package. I was proud of myself.

5. Christmas cards. We shot our photo with a tripod in the backyard.

Tyler wanted to use this one.

The first shoot was on some bizarre setting and didn't turn out. I had to dress everyone up again for a re-shoot. Serenity now.

6. Lots of festivities!

7. I have a baby who I love dearly but who demands to be held almost every second he's awake.

8. Every once in a while I remember I have two other kids as well. I don't have the intestinal fortitude to make sugar cookies with them this year, but I let them make salt dough ornaments.

They turned out cute and I tied them onto little gifts for their teachers. Here's the instructions--seriously easy and makes you feel like a good mom after you've been ignoring your kids.

9. I had my car towed and got locked out of my house this month. That's nearly $500 in towing and locksmith fees. And two wasted days. Ho ho ho.

10. Because if I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off, it wouldn't feel like Christmas!

Festivities

2010-12-21T22:50:00.000-08:00

My Bloglines isn't working so I am out of the loop on blogging. Is everyone having the same problem? Anyhoo, here are some of our Christmas activities from this year.

The Santa Breakfast. I did not enjoy this at all. I had an extra toddler with me so I just chased kids around and then stood in a really long line to see Santa. But I got a surprisingly good picture so I am going with it:

Going to the temple to see the lights.

This was my kids' first time seeing a temple. I loved the experience because everyone was strapped into the car for an hour each way. I got to eat McDonald's and have nice conversation. The temple was nice too.

Charlie's preschool program. Charlie's school is the cheapest around, so I'm always stoked when they do something legitimate like have a Christmas program. He was darling, especially when a guest singer came in and performed "Feliz Navidad" and Charlie covered his ears for the whole song.

I am sooooo glad to have a break from preschool for two weeks. I love not having to get out the door in the morning.

Ugly Sweater Events.

I realized ugly sweater parties are here to stay so I bit the bullet and bought sweaters off ebay this year. I've already worn mine twice. I enjoy wearing obnoxious holiday sweaters. It's festive and it breaks the ice. Tyler did NOT want to wear his sweater.

Sometimes I don't get that guy.

Middle-Aged

2010-12-10T14:53:00.001-08:00

Tyler is 35 today.

He deserves a long list of roasts and toasts but if you could see my house right now you'd understand that I only have time for a baker's dozen. December birthdays are brutal.

(1) He is a fantastic public speaker. People have even asked for copies of his talks and suggested he try to get them published. This is in spite of the fact that he usually starts preparing an hour or two before he has to speak.

(2) He didn't list his birthday on Facebook because he didn't want to get a bunch of "happy birthdays!" and then have to write the obligatory "thanks for the birthday wishes" status.

(3) He got a nasty case of poison oak this summer and was obsessed with photographing it.

Among others found on my camera . . . .

(4) Whenever he takes the van there is a good chance he'll bring it home on empty.

(5) When he reads the book Polar Bear Polar Bear What Do You Hear and he gets to the part about the Walrus, he sings "I am the egg man. WHOO! I am the egg man. Whoo! I am the WALRUS! Coo coo ca choo!" etc. So that's what my kids think the Walrus says.

(6) He makes pancakes every Sunday and he's trained me to put real butter, whipped cream, and full-calorie syrup on them. This was NOT how I was raised, but I scarf those puppies down every week!

(7) He has long wanted Bose noise cancellation headphones. We went browsing for them the other day and he found the perfect pair. I elicited donations from my parents then snuck back to the mall with the kids in tow to covertly buy them. The next day he told me he no longer wanted Bose headphones so don't get them for his birthday.

(8) He likes America's Funniest Home Videos.

(9) If he's home when I'm about to publish a blog post, I interrupt whatever he's doing and make him read the draft because I want to see if he likes it. I make him read it out loud or else he's apt to skip parts.

(10) He feels strongly that there should be a towel in the bathroom when he gets out of the shower. It can be a dirty hand towel--he just hates it when all the towels are in the wash at the same time. It's the only housekeeping thing that bothers him.

(11) Tuesday night he sang in front of about 75 women for our church Relief Society Christmas party. He looked hot and the ladies young and old were catcalling. At least I was.

(12) I parked illegally the other day and the van got towed. It cost over $300. I felt sick. Tyler was totally nice about it, shrugged, and said he's done stupider things.

(13) The man is good at everything he does. Everything. He can hold his own in any sport, any subject matter, any conversation, any test of strength or skill. He does it well even if it's his first time.

He was the best in the group at ifly, naturally.

Of course I may be a little biased. I am in love with the man. Happy Birthday Babe! Let's go hit the town tonight and return those headphones!

Holiday Home Tour

2010-12-06T15:23:00.001-08:00

After a year in this house I am finally figuring out some decorating systems that work. Hanging my mirror above the mantle and flanking it with two urns changed my life:

I switch out the sticks and wreath every season. Here's how it was for fall:

I am finally satisfied with what's going on over there. It's cuter in real life.

Another system that's working for me is these glass apothecary jars:

I fill them with seasonal-colored ribbon from the Ribbon Fairy--it's been a couple years but that motherload is still giving!

It's actually really convenient to always have a holiday ribbon close at hand.

I like to put up old holiday pictures or artwork on my magnet board:

I love looking at that picture of my grandpa Poole in his red plaid shirt. He wore that shirt every Christmas and I'll really miss seeing him in it this year.

My kitchen hutch sports red dishes year-round so it was really easy to convert for Christmas:

My mother-in-law gave me the entire Fisher Price nativity set for Christmas last year. It's sitting out on the kids' table in my kitchen and Charlie loves acting out the Christmas story.

Let's talk doorstep and entry. I leave these big galvanized containers outside and just switch out the contents--gourds, Christmas trees, etc.:

I am so proud of my door wreath. This live wreath was $5.00 at Home Depot:

It was plain and had one of those weatherproof red bows. I took it off and made this mind-blowing bow and stuck in some berries from Michael's. I aspire to be the Nester.

I'm getting bored of this post now. Let's hurry and end it. Here's my entry way shelf:

I am in a period of transition with my Christmas tree. Here it is:

Most of the ornaments are new and came from one big cheap Costco pack. I let the boys use my old elf-themed ornaments on a tree in their room:

I also let them have lights all around their room because they are enchanted by all things Christmas and I love it.

How crazy that the beds aren't made in that picture.

Finally here's my softest little guy--the cutest thing in my house right now!

And Bennett ain't bad either.

The Hard Stage

2010-11-28T20:14:00.000-08:00

It's been too long since I've posted and I blame it on these guys:

For me the hardest stage of having a baby is three months til seven months. Bennett is almost four months now. Whenever he is awake he needs to be held. Put him down and he screams like a Velociraptor.

Some people tell me I just need to put him down and let him cry. I would rather carry him around for four months than deal with the screaming. Plus he takes long naps to make up for it (like four hours-long) so it's sort of a quid pro quo. (See Dad, I do still use my legal education!)

This Thanksgiving weekend has been nice since Tyler has been around to help. Usually I feel like there are at least two urgent needs that need my attention at any given moment. My needs usually come in last and the house's needs don't even make the radar. It's a crazy and exhausting and messy time of life. I love it though. I love being the center of these guys' universe.

Tyler is now pacing the house and trying to pass off a very small Velociraptor so this post will be as half-baked as the rest of my life. I'm in the hard stage. I don't post often. Smell ya later.

Cake, Presents, and Time Alone

2010-11-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

I turned 31 yesterday. I didn't have the will to write a birthday post. I know the internet is dying to know 31 more things about me so perhaps I'll muster up the narcissism soon.

I always love to know what people do and get for their birthdays so I'll tell you about mine. We took the boys to Costco on Friday night and let Charlie pick out a chocolate sheet cake for me. I had them write "Happy Birthday Beautiful" on it.

These cakes are DELICIOUS and are made to feed like 60 people, or me for three days.

This year I'm tired so what I wanted most was a day to myself. Tyler watched the kids all day Saturday while I did exciting things like returns. I also got one of the best pedicures of my life. It included both a paraffin wax and a hot stone massage.

Foot rubs are my greatest joy in life. I got some birthday money from my mom today and I am designating it strictly for pedicures and foot massages.

Saturday night we got a babysitter for Charlie and Max and went to the mall to get me a new watch. I let Max wear mine in Costco a few months ago during a desperate moment and of course Max lost it. So I got this new one:
It's huge and looks like a dude's watch but it has a pretty mother of pearl face. I love it and I'm not going to let Max wear it at Costco.

Then we went out to dinner at Xanh--a swanky Vietnamese place in downtown Mountain View.

I had been there before with friends and loved the food so I suggested the place. Tyler was delightfully shocked that I picked a place that was cool and stylish and not Chili's. He is the ~~snobby~~ sophisticated one of the two of us and the one who talks to people about stuff like restaurants so it was fun to impress him. His birthday is next so I'll see if I can get reservations at another hip bay area hotspot.

Sunday was my actual birthday but I was over it by then. Tyler faked a sore neck so he didn't have to get up with the kids. I went to church and came home and it got dark really early and I ate more cake and that's what's it like to be me at 31.

Three Months

2010-11-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

Bennett is three months today. He slept through the night for the first time last night.

I am not under any illusion that the sleep will continue, but I think I will move out of his room tonight. I am also shelving the maternity jeans I've been wearing. They still fit but it's time to show some self-respect by cramming myself into pants with a zipper.

Bennett loves attention and will give big smiles to anyone who will talk to him. Especially me.

I've been saying he's my easiest baby but I've probably just lowered my expectations. I now assume that babies need to be held all the time so it doesn't bother me anymore. I know how fast this year will go, so I really enjoy the time I get to sit and feed him or rock him. I also love bathing him and dressing him up. He's my little doll.

As for getting stuff done with a baby . . . . I just noticed the pile of un-sent birth announcements sitting on my desk. I gave up halfway through them. I haven't done thank-you notes for Charlie's birthday gifts (please someone tell me I don't have to), and I "clean" by walking around the house with a big shopping bag and putting everything in there. I have a bunch of clutter-filled shopping bags in the corner of my room. So I am not thriving in those areas. But it's been three months and Bennett and I have a really good thing going. I am smitten with that tiny boy and I'll be darned if the feeling's not mutual.

I Need a Hero

2010-10-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

I've got to hurry and get this post out of the way so I can start taking down Halloween decorations. I try hard to embrace Halloween because it's gonna happen every year whether I like it or not. But I'm getting to the point this year where even miniature Hershey Bars bring me no joy. It's time to move on.

We really didn't have a choice when it came to costumes this year.

Charlie had to be Batman and Max had to be Superman. Tyler did the bulk of the work on these, but he let me help a little after seeing how the student became the master. His crowning achievement was rigging Batman's cape so Charlie could do this:

Lets talk about the elephant in the room. Yes, Tyler made and wore a unitard. He was The Flash. I convinced him to wear shorts over it for our church party, but at some point he tired of those and I saw him walking around like this:

Yes there were women and children present. And no,the man does not lack for confidence. Charlie wanted me to be Wonder Woman but have you seen how that girl dresses?

I had the decency to just order a Wonder Woman novelty T-shirt.

But when I tried it on for Tyler he told me it was too tight.

And if that guy says something's too tight, it must be really bad.

Costume Sneak Peak: Student Becomes Master

2010-10-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

Now that Tyler knows he is a master costume-maker there is no going back to store bought 'stumes.

Last year--Max from Where the Wild Things Are

You should have seen the look he gave me when I suggested we just buy costumes this year what with the newborn and all. So I went to Costco and bought us a sewing machine.

As with all major purchases I make from Costco, a coupon arrived for this machine moments after I took it out of the box. Tyler made some patterns out of paper towels and started cutting.

Meanwhile I tried to thread the sewing machine. I haven't done that since 8th grade in Ms. Maguire's Home Ec class. The manual was full of sewing machine jargon and it wasn't easy. By the time I finished it was time to go to bed. Tyler left town the next day, so the costume making was put on hold . . . or so Tyler thought! Tyler had cut some pant legs too small for Max so I decided to practice sewing with them. By some miracle I was able to make them just the right size for Bennett.

I don't always hem. Sue me.

I even put elastic around the waistband, though I'm sure I committed all sorts of sewing crimes in the process. I was so excited about the pants that I had to try Bennett's shirt. I used a onesie as a pattern but really had no clue what I was doing. Once I had the sleeves and the front and back of the shirt cut out I had to stare at the pieces for about 10 minutes to figure out how they should be sewn together. Then I went to town and produced this:

I cut up a cheap ugly spiderman shirt for the spider symbol.

I finished at midnight and was almost certain it wouldn't fit. I woke Bennett up and tried it on and nearly died when it fit like a glove.

The stars were aligned last night my friends. I then had to text Tyler a picture even though he's in New York and it was the middle of the night. He gets home today so don't try to kill us. Though I am pretty sure I just accomplished my life's work so I guess getting knocked off right now wouldn't be the end of the world.

Third Time's a Charm

2010-10-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

My dad was the third child in his family and so was I. Dad often reminded me during my third pregnancy that third children are the best. By golly he's right.

Bennett--2 months.

This little boy is my easiest and happiest baby so far. He hardly ever cries, which is surprising to me because after my first two I just assumed I made fussy babies. Granted I love to dote on this kid and carry him around all the time so he doesn't have much to cry about.

Here he is in my favorite outfit--his Halloween shirt and skinny black cords.

He gives lots of big squishy smiles and tries to so hard to have conversations. I am eating it up.

Talking.

He still naps a lot during the day, so that adds considerably to his easiness factor. Bless him for it because I am operating at my limits right now. If he was always awake and screaming, I'd throw in the towel. (Been there, done that. Twice.)

My new method for bathing these three.

Last night Tyler and I went out to dinner and a movie (The Social Network--loved it!). Bennett came along and didn't make a peep.

He's still not a great sleeper at night. I know that's my fault for coddling him so much, but that's just what I like to do with my little guys. I'm tired most days, but who isn't? Life rolls on because the tired masses go forth and do mediocre work every day. I am no different.

Meeting my coke-addict brother Wart and his wife Katie.

We went to the doctor on Friday and Bennett tipped the scales at 13 pounds. He's at the top of the charts for both length and weight. He comes from a long line of porkers on the Warner side and I'm just happy to be enabling his milk habit. Can't wait to introduce the Oreos!

Three Things I Learned Today

2010-10-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

1. Don't let birthdays drag on. We had to do Charlie's Pump-It-Up party a week before his real birthday. I made the mistake of trying to make the actual day special too. That only confused Charlie, and he's not even an idiot. I don't even think he enjoyed the second round of presents.

Okay maybe that's because I decided he has too many toys so I gave him underwear and sheets. But still, in the future I am telling my kids their birthday happens on whatever day it's convenient to have a party. Go all out for one day and END IT.

2. Edible cake designs are totally ghetto. Exhibit A:

Yes, that's the finished product.

Luckily we are consuming this thing in the privacy of our own home. And to think I prayed that this thing would arrived in time to grace last week's sheetcake. Garth knew what he was saying about unanswered prayers.

3. On that note: Be careful what you pray for. A few months ago Tyler's work took him to iFly, a place where you can go in a wind tunnel and simulate skydiving.

Tyler flying today.

Charlie has been obsessed ever since. He used to pray every night "please bless that I can go in that tunnel with the wind and fly." So we took him today for his birthday.

Maverick and Goose

It's really loud and crazy in that wind tunnel so we gave it a 20% chance of him actually flying. But he did it!

Here's a link to video footage for the severely bored.

He came out a little shell-shocked and did NOT want to go again.

I was afraid we'd ruined his birthday, but we just told him how cool he was 100 times and now he's going around bragging about it.

Windblown.

The Best Party I Ever Bought

2010-10-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

When Charlie turned three last year, I worked like a dog to throw him the world's tiniest party. I ended up red-faced, sweaty and exhausted.

Last year.

After that party I sat in my destroyed house and vowed that when Charlie turned four, we'd have his party at Pump It Up--the local bouncy joint.

Max at Pump It Up.

All I had to do was call to book it. Best $195.00 I've ever spent. We rolled into the parking lot at the exact moment the party started. I got to stand around talking to my friends while the kids played.

It's hard to post pictures about kids playing when you have a privacy policy.

My cute mother-in-law came and held Bennett for me the entire time.

I think the kids had fun but I was too busy not sweating to really notice them.

Charlie rock-climbing.

Charlie wanted a batman cake, but we know how the last one of those turned out:

I decided to go pro and ordered this edible design that you just lay on top of a frosted cake:

It supposedly merges with the frosting and looks pretty cool. It was supposed to arrive the morning of Charlie's party at the very latest. It had yet to come that morning when I went to pick up Charlie's blank chocolate sheet cake at Costco. I checked the mail every five minutes til I finally surrendered and mixed up yellow frosting so I could bust out a last minute batman symbol. By "I could bust out a last minute batman symbol" I mean Tyler did it.

I've learned it's easier to assign these tasks to him than to have him stare at my work in disdain. Plus, Dude can frost a mean cake:

The edible batman design came a couple days later. The seller said I could return it but I've decided to just use it on another cake on Charlie's actual birthday. It's sort of like having a cake and eating it too, except it's having two cakes and eating them both.

Skeletons in My Closet

2010-10-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

These are my beloved driftwood skeletons:

Tyler and I bought them in a restaurant in Hawaii on our first anniversary. And since it's October and time for scaring people, I will share a few skeletons from my closet. Be ye warned.

I own the world's scariest cookie sheet:

I try to hide it from people because they inevitably express disgust. I only use it to catch drips and for cooking chicken nuggets. I don't know how people operate without a gnarly cookie sheet.

I talk on my phone while I drive. All the time. But I am trying really hard not to text while driving. I have some decency. Not much.

This big glass jar was filled to the brim with candy one week ago:

Tyler is on a diet and cannot be blamed. Now all that remains are the Milky Ways and Three Musketeers. I won't eat them unless I'm desperate.

I sleep with Bennett all night every night. I know that's frowned upon, but I am a desperate woman and it is what it is.

This is the current, unedited state of my garbage and recycling:

Ninety-eight percent of the worksheets and art projects Charlie brings home from school go straight into that pile.

He's taken to drawing "foreheads" (dots) on people.

I yell at my kids. Not every day, but sometimes. This is the number one thing I am working on improving in my life and could be a post unto itself.

This is how I've organized my cookbooks and recipes (and also my plastic sacks, of course):

I could go on but my fingers have started to cripple from shame. She who is without skeletons cast the first stone.

Bennett's Blessing Day

2010-10-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

Sunday was Bennett's blessing.

Seven weeks--in his blessing outfit.

My parents were both in town for it and most of Tyler's family came. It's traditional to invite the family over for a luncheon (is that word still being used?) after the blessing. But really, the last thing a new mom needs is to be hosting a luncheon. Since our families were traveling long distances to support us, I wanted to do something.

My parents, Us, Molly and Christian, Tyler's parents, Ashley.

We invited the family over at 11:30 for a brunch before church at 1:00. I knew it had to be easy. I didn't want to turn into Bobby Knight right before the blessing.

I made the Mostess' Holiday Breakfast (a quiche-like concoction) the night before. I assigned my mom to make brownies and cut fruit. Tyler made french toast and bacon. His sister Amy brought muffins. It was a great spread, and all I had to do Sunday morning was put the Holiday Breakfast in the oven.

See that orange juice in the back of the picture? My friend Candace has orange trees and squeezed some fresh OJ for us once before. It was like liquid gold--mind you I don't even normally drink calories but I guzzled this stuff. Tyler shamelessly asked her for a whole pitcher for the brunch and she kindly delivered. It was a true gift.

My mom has a tradition of dressing all her grandbabies for their blessings:

Tyler blessed him and it was really nice. I scribbled notes as fast as I could so I can remember what he said.

And since it's really all about me . . . . I wore a skirt that was too big but it was my only option. I didn't have the will to shop for more transitional clothes. Luckily I had just gotten my hair cut and colored, so I had that going for me.

Would you have done a luncheon?
What's the difference between a luncheon and a lunch?

Tiny Doesn't Keep

2010-09-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

Bennett is six weeks now.

He is packing on the pounds. Three of them since birth.

5 weeks--at the dr.'s office.

I can't bottle his tiny-ness but I've done the next best thing. I got my friend Meghan to take newborn pictures when Bennett was one week.

Meghan is so talented!

I love all of them.

You can't even tell how fussy he was being during the shoot.

Except in this picture, which is a bummer since it's the best one of me:

This one is my favorite:

I wasn't going to post it because I am using it on his birth announcement and didn't want to spoil the big reveal. Then I realized no one else gives a rip about the big reveal. See Meghan's website here. She's incredible and so affordable!

My other trick to preserve the tiny was to get imprints done. Two of my friends, Lindsey and Lindsay, run a business making these imprints of kids' and babies' hands and feet:

I am so thrilled with these! Regretfully I didn't know about them when Charlie and Max were newborns, so I got all my boys' handprints done a week after Bennett was born.

I got them in red so I could use them as Christmas ornaments, but I love them so much I want them up year round. As soon as I get some little easels I am making space for them in my hutch.

Check out their website here. Preserve the tiny!

Speaking of tiny, I am not tiny. I am still on my eat-everything-don't-exercise plan. The plan makes for successful nursing but it also makes my butt look big. Over the weekend I may or may not have been asked by a well-meaning friend when I was due. The one and only plus of Bennett getting bigger is that a bigger baby will trick the eye and make me look smaller. Like vertical stripes.

Batman Begins Preschool

2010-09-08T15:34:00.001-07:00

Charlie started preschool this week.

I had two requirements when trying to find a preschool for him: language immersion and a strong focus on the arts. Not really. It had to be cheap and I couldn't be required to volunteer. That left me with one option and I took it.

Lately Charlie has been like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. No one can be sweeter than Charlie when he's good . . . and when he is bad, he is horrid.

Suffice it to say we'd all been looking forward to preschool. Charlie goes three mornings a week. I've been getting up two hours before preschool starts in order to get me and the kids fed, dressed, and out the door.

Sadly I've discovered two hours barely cuts it and requires me turning into Bobby Knight. So next week I'm going to try getting up two and a half hours early. That part is painful, but I really like having a couple hours to run errands with just Max and the baby. (You know you live a warped life when errands with a newborn and a two-year-old sound like a break.)

As we were getting ready for the first day of school, Charlie became Mr. Hyde (or whoever the evil one was) and refused to go unless (1) he could wear his batman shirt, and (2) he had his birthday first. His birthday is in October. This was no time for a battle so I promised him a batman cake if he went to school.

Judge if you must but I know there is only so much scream-sobbing I can handle in my life.

We got to preschool and Charlie went right in and starting playing. So did Max.

The only tears that day were from Max when he found out he couldn't stay. Then he kept on asking me where Charlie was. Since I picked this preschool out of desperation I really have no idea what goes on there. I can't get Charlie to tell me much, but when I pick him up he's really happy and he came home with this the other day:

Crafts are a good sign, right?

Charlie brings his own snacks due to his nut allergy. I sent him with an apple on Friday. I was confused when I could feel it in his backpack after class but he insisted he'd eaten his own snack and not the class one. Then I pulled it out and saw this:

Friday was also Show and Tell day. Charlie insisted on taking a Happy Meal toy.

It was Batman. Surprise!

I am sure his teachers think I am mother-of-the-year, but I am sleep deprived and choosing my battles. Show and Tell didn't make the cut.

When Life Gives You Lemos

2010-09-06T20:16:00.000-07:00

I have a beef with Saturdays and holidays.

My beef is that on Saturdays and holidays, all the fun places get crowded. You know I hate crowds. Yet Saturdays Tyler is home so I want to go to the fun places. It's a catch-22. Where is a fun-loving family supposed to go?

Lately we've been frittering away too many Saturdays, doing nothing exciting and then regretting it. We decided we really needed to get out and have a fun family adventure today since Tyler had the day off. We set our sights on Lemos Farm in Half Moon Bay, hoping the 45 minute drive made it out of the way enough that it wouldn't be crowded. We were all set to have an idyllic day creating fond family memories!

Charlie melted down before we even got in the car. He wanted nine Oreos and I wouldn't give him nine Oreos. That wouldn't leave near enough for me. We sat in traffic on the way into Half Moon Bay while Bennett screamed.

Me and Bennett on the hay ride.

We spent a couple hours at the farm, riding the little hay ride, train, ponies, etc.

Max feeding the goats.

That part was pleasant. Tyler must have taken this picture of me struggling to put on Charlie's shoe:

I almost deleted it, but it is so part and parcel of my life right now.

The ride home was long to begin with and traffic doubled it. Long story short, Tyler ate the last Oreo--the one Charlie DESPERATELY wanted but wouldn't say please in order to get. Then Charlie scream-sobbed for a solid fifty minutes about that dang Oreo til he fell dead asleep.

Bennett joined in the screaming on and off. About halfway through the ride home I looked at Tyler and said over the screaming, "This wasn't exactly the relaxing family holiday we were hoping for, was it?" All told, today was what it was. And now there's nary an Oreo in my house.

All Their Bags Are Packed . . .

2010-09-03T12:06:00.000-07:00

I'm ready for them to go! Tyler is taking Charlie and Max down to his parents' house this afternoon.

He's going to golf with his dad while his mom watches the boys. Charlie and Max spent the morning packing their backpacks full of toys, juice-boxes, and any piece of clothing they could find. (I was unpacking whenever they turned their heads.)

I am so excited to spend the rest of the day getting stuff done and being with just Bennett!

4 weeks--getting a little bigger!

It will be so rejuvenating to have a break from the big boys. You know I love them, but they are very loud and active and messy. This guy is not:

The kids love going to Grandma's house. It's a win-win for everyone, except maybe Tyler's mom. But she's nice enough to make us think she loves it too. So long kids!

Today is 9/02/10

2010-09-02T12:59:00.001-07:00

Those were good times. Simpler times. It's scary how it was such a racy show (in my memory) but look how relatively modest they look now (besides Donna):

I've never seen the dude on the right before in my life. Was he even on the show? I'll be impressed if anyone knows who he is (was). I impress easily.

SuperMax

2010-08-29T22:03:00.001-07:00

It's a bird . . . .

It's a plane . . . .

It's a sweet picture of Tyler!

I call this one "Maestro":

Tyler calls this post a guarantee that no one will ever have an affair with him.

Sounds good to me.

Why I Must Keep My House Clean These Days

2010-08-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

Because I have figured out that I get hot and teary and full of rage when the following three conditions happen at the same time:

(1) I am sleep deprived;

(2) Two of my three boys are crying; and

They are cute when they aren't hysterical.

(3) My house is a disaster.

I can't control the sleep deprivation or the crying. But I can keep my house clean and thus keep my sanity. But sometimes I don't, and then kids start crying, and then I just have to get everyone in the car and leave immediately.

"Get your shoes on NOW!!!!!"

For those of you saying, "whatever happened to you being chillaxed," chillaxed is a relative term.

And for those of you saying "I've seen your house lately and it ain't clean," clean is a relative term. And shut up.