There are worse habits. Some of which I also engage in as coping mechanisms.I've been trying to pick my Resolution for 2012--the one thing I want to get done. Last year I successfully got Charlie to the dentist, and even made a habit of brushing the boys' teeth every night. 2012 was supposed to be my year to get to the optometrist, but I want to put that off til 2013. Tyler is begging me to Feed the Kids Vegetables in 2012.
Sounds hard.I am constantly frustrated right now by the mess. I purged a bunch of stuff after Christmas, and yet still the mess constantly flows. How do you do it? Do you make your bed before you leave for the day? Who has the time in the morning? Will that make my life better? When do you run/unload your dishwasher? I hate it when I don't have time to unload it in the morning and then I have dishes piling up til after lunch. I live this way folks. Help me. I am not hoping for miracles here. I just want to be presentable.
I'm not even talking about CLEANING, just PICKING UP.
Plus hasn't the Clorex Wipe replaced all cleaning tools?
Plus hasn't the Clorex Wipe replaced all cleaning tools?
I've been thinking about what makes me feel happy and what makes me feel crappy. Happy: exercising, getting enough sleep, being nice to my kids, studying my scriptures, spending time with Tyler, having food in the house, having enough time to take care of things at home while still getting out to do fun stuff several times a week. Crappy: Yelling at my kids, being tired, spending too much time on the internet, being surrounded by mess, etc. I'm not naturally a go-getter or a scheduled person but these lists make me realize if I don't actively put in effort to do the things that make me happy, by default I will do nothing and end up feeling crappy. So I need to do something about that. I need to mobilize! I don't have a plan or anything but I feel wise for just having thought about it.
Wise like a hooty bird!
Alright, that's what I got for now.
28 comments:
Don't beat yourself up. I never think about this stuff and it all just seems to work out in the end.
I did Clean Mama's 30 day challenge. That helped me, but I need to do it again.
Your grandpa Poole said something to me (when he was in San Diego helping me right after you were born)when I was totally overwhelmed and "yelling" at Brooke & Rex. (you were a 2-day old baby - I wasn't yelling at you!) He said, "the kids won't remember the messy house, but they will remember you yelling at them." What he didn't understand is that it's much easier to "yell" when your surroundings are a mess. It's hard with little kids to find the time and energy to keep on top of everything. It's so much easier now.
I don't have any helps, I guess I don't even have a point, just an observation. And I wish I could be there to tend the kids while you "pick up the house."
I love Tyler's comment.
Let's hang out and talk about getting organized (you know, instead of actually using that time to get organized). ;) I spent almost every minute of "home time" during my 2-week vacation organizing and purging. I still have a ton of stuff. (Including this awesome new little people barn that the boys fight over, I mean love.) :)
I'm starting to use my week/day to-do calendar again. It's 8:30 and my dishes are washing, kitchen is clean, living room is tidy, and I'm about to fold 1 load of laundry. It seems to be working tonight. We'll see if I can keep it up tomorrow.
By the way--I'm convinced that the key to not having a messy house is not having a lot of stuff. I can't have 3 piles of dirty laundry, 3 piles of "needs to be folded" laundry, and 3 piles worth of clothes strewn all over our bedrooms if I get rid of two thirds of our huge stash of clothing. (In the process of trying to do that.) I also banished most of the boys' toys to the closet. There are a lot less toys to clean up now. And I got rid of half our bowls, and half our spoons have gone missing on their own. The more plates/bowls/utensils we have, the longer we can let things pile up in the sink. It's all about getting rid of stuff. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Why the heck am I still online?
I think there are some great comments in response to your post. I wish I had something more profound, but I really liked Tyler's comment and also Linda's.
I'm with you that I want to get organized this year. I think that will make it easier to get the important stuff done first.
Also, the picture of In-N-Out is making me hungry!
I like Tyler's comment. If only it were that easy . . . *sigh* . . .
Have you heard of flylady? I've followed her for a long time on and off. She helps. At the minimum, I make my bed. I try to turn the dishwasher on at night and empty it in the morning, that way all the dishes can just go straight in there (I don't rinse them, too much effort). That being said, I have a pile of laundry on my couch upstairs, one on the couch downstairs, and 4 (scratch that, 3) suitcases in my room that need to be unpacked from our trip.
I'm with Molly, you have to get rid of stuff to not have messes, but I'm not very good at that part yet. My messy house is the bane of my existence!
Resolutions? Good idea. I like what your mom said. She is a wise woman.
OH NO YOU DID NOT put that hack job unofficial 2nd place badge on your blog!! It mocks me! Remove it at once!!
Tyler's comment is so....Man. I am laughing so hard reading and re-reading it. But he's totally right and I love it.
If I may be so bold I would like to say that I think you are my twin. Where were you born again? Your paragraph about happy vs. crappy are my daily thoughts verbatim. If you get a system down, email me.
The only point on which I can offer any kind of advice is regarding bed making. I make my bed every single day--I have since I was old enough to make my bed. I do it first thing and I make it while I am sitting up in it. Then I slide out, throw on the pillows and voila! (No military corners for this girl.) The key is to do it first thing. I don't go to the bathroom, fetch my crying kid, NOTHING until my bed is made. That way if nothing else gets done during the day...wait, I made my bed so who cares?...See? It's perfect.
The key . . . and I am dead serious . . . is to ride those kids each and every day to start picking up the messes they make and to start taking care of themselves. We should be having Max and Charlie load the dishes each night.
What I don't understand about the bed making every day is why...when you are just getting back in after your shower at noon? Oh wait..is that just me?
My kids haven't eaten a veggie since 2007.
My one and only goal for the year is to cover stuff in the microwave...baby steps.
This post gives me no hope for myself. I don't even have kids and I already live in a mess. What am I supposed to do when the kids come??
I am not sure if Tyler's second comment is for real but... I make my kids do a lot of stuff and I have since they were little. Nothing makes me crankier than picking up after teenagers who are old enough to pull their own weight. I realise this comment is no help to you at the moment.
I too am struggling with all of the above, and am trying to get my act together before I put it all out with the trash. Here is what I am trying: a household binder. I love crossing things off my daily lists and feel better about myself when I can see what I've done. Also it keeps me on a schedule so I'm not on the computer and in my pajamas all day.
Also I love having people over to my house for a play date. It gets me moving because I want my house to look nice even if some kid's mom is just in my front hallway waiting for her son.
I am working this week on chore charts. Will is 9 and has never had one. While he's at scouts tonight I'll be at Walmart loading up on bathroom cleaning supplies. I have way too many kids that aren't pulling there weight around here and just because they are all boys doesn't mean they can't learn to clean just like I did.
Vegetables- no answer for you there. Orange french fries (sweet potato fries) is the only veggie I can get one of my kids to eat and ketchup for another. Let me know if you find something that works.
Sorry this is so long, I guess I just have similar things on my plate. I just keep thinking that if I get my act together and can keep it together for more than two days in a row, then I will be like everyone else, cause doesn't seem like everyone else has it together?
Good Luck!
Liz, your last comment made me think of that quote, "everyone else my age seems like a grownup, whereas I am merely in disguise." I think it relates to having our houses clean and lives together, most of us are just holding it together moment to moment.
One more thought, my mom had a sign in our house growing up, "Dull women have immaculate homes." You are definitely not dull, Ashley!
you said it all PERFECTLY. tonight i am sitting in a completely disheveled house. i seem to run in circles all day trying to keep it normal, but somehow it still looks like this in the end. AHHH!
i may need to try lenessa's 30 day challenge.
I am crazy about bed making. Not sure why, but the rest of my house seems cleaner when the beds are made. Even if I'm super late, my bed is made and the best thing I did last year is to teach William to make his own bed. (Mind you it's "made" like a 5 year old made it and I don't let myself go in and re-make it.) All that being said, I really need to get a cleaning schedule started. Baby #3coming is just going to drown me I fear!
I feel slightly saddened that you have achieved daily pediatric tooth brushing, since I sort of reassured myself every time I missed that you think that baby teeth are disposable anyway. As for veggies, I bought a huge thing of frozen broccoli from costco and I just microwave it (6 min), sprinkle some cheese and presto. Bags of frozen peas, corn and carrots are equally easy. Frozen is just as nutritious as fresh, really.
As for the house, i guess I would just advise you to let it go as much as possible. Our homes are just going to be messy with little boys this age, and in a couple of years they will be easy to keep clean again. I know it really sucks to dwell in mess, though. My solutions are not accepted by the general reasonable person, but I have things like a clutter drawer (or whole closet) in many places so I can just get crap out of my sight and pretend we are cleanly. I also hired people to come and scrub down once a month to get me on my feet again. Best 60 bucks I spend.
Just read comments and my 2 cents: don't make your bed; who cares? i never see my bedroom during the day.
i make sure the dishwasher is empty at night so that in the am i can just start loading. i run it after dinner and then after bedtime i unload.
I am with Tyler on both comments. It does suck to try to get kids in the habit of cleaning up after themselves but I am starting to see progress in Andrew and it helps so much. It is one of those things that is hard to initiate, but totally worth it. Like potty training! :)
I hear you. At our house, we've flown a white flag & call it good if we can walk to the sofa without stepping on trains or legos. If my counters are semi-clean, I try not to look at the floor or in the toilet because none of those things seem to ever be sanitized/clean at the same time.
Tyler you are too funny. Of course it all works out fine. While you are off at work or golfing, Ashley gets it done (I can say this 'cause I'm Tyler's mom ;). I read every comment and gleaned lots of useful advice. There seems to be 2 camps for "to make, or not to make the bed". Definitely make it. All the organizational experts agree on that. It's one of the few things that stays done all day. "Em" has the right idea. But, Ashley keep in mind that you dash off to seminary very early each morning. My theory is that whichever person gets up last should make it. Now that Mike's retired he does it almost daily since I'm usually the first one up.
I think that every January everyone wants to get uncluttered. Ever since I borrowed Ashley's library copy of "Unstuff your Life" by Andrew Mellon, I can't stop talking about how following his advice has really helped me. I thought I had stuff stored in convenient places, but now it's better. Molly is right, if your house isn't huge enough to easily put stuff away, you need to purge. I'm also with Linda, what is my point? I don't know that teenagers make less of a mess than babies do, and they don't always pick up after themselves better. Neither babies nor teenagers live here anymore (wish they did) so now we have only ourselves to blame for the disorganization. That, and the fact that life is fun and there's more to do than stay home and clean.
Tyler you are too funny. Of course it all works out fine. While you are off at work or golfing, Ashley gets it done (I can say this 'cause I'm Tyler's mom ;). I read every comment and gleaned lots of useful advice. There seems to be 2 camps for "to make, or not to make the bed". Definitely make it. All the organizational experts agree on that. It's one of the few things that stays done all day. "Em" has the right idea. But, Ashley keep in mind that you dash off to seminary very early each morning. My theory is that whichever person gets up last should make it. Now that Mike's retired he does it almost daily since I'm usually the first one up.
I think that every January everyone wants to get uncluttered. Ever since I borrowed Ashley's library copy of "Unstuff your Life" by Andrew Mellon, I can't stop talking about how following his advice has really helped me. I thought I had stuff stored in convenient places, but now it's better. Molly is right, if your house isn't huge enough to easily put stuff away, you need to purge. I'm also with Linda, what is my point? I don't know that teenagers make less of a mess than babies do, and they don't always pick up after themselves better. Neither babies nor teenagers live here anymore (wish they did) so now we have only ourselves to blame for the disorganization. That, and the fact that life is fun and there's more to do than stay home and clean.
Who the crap cares about a made up bed. I have a bajillion better ways to spend my time. Let it go, girl!
I was thinking about this very thing for New Years, how to people keep their house clean?? I have not even thought about making the bed, I am talking just the parts people see! The only thing I do know is that my dishes and the universe are linked - if the dishes sit overnight my next day is horrible, every single time. One thought that did occur to me (and take it with a grain of salt, I might be rationalizing:)) is that for 5 years I knew exactly how to keep my house clean. It was immaculate and everything had its place, I obviously know how and am not lazy (all the time...). But everything changed when I had kids. I distinctly remember coming home from church one day, to my clean house with my clean clothes and hair done and wanting more. My clean house didn't make me happy, but the little people sure do!! So I really need to cut back on Facebook/Gossip column time and hopefully this will positively benefit my house(and hair!) but maybe in part our house is supposed to look exactly the way it does.
PS -the fact you have 3 kids, teach seminary, always look cute and so darn skinny is super impressive to me!
I agree wholeheartedly with bed made. It seems the mess swirling around my room is somehow more manageable if my bed is made. But I also agree that Tyler should make it since he's the last to get out of it!
I just read The Happiness Project and her first month was devoted entirely to decluttering. Getting rid of stuff feels so good!!
I have the same issues and I agree with Molly that just throwing all the crap away can help. But when you've got 3 kids with opinions and attachments to their things it is hard. I like just thinking about resolutions too- writing them down is too much pressure sometimes.
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